Guys I’m kind of struggling here. was talking to my lover. Different things have happened but to say it quickly I feel less sexually attractive to her. So just tried talking to her about different things and all that. Sex stuff. And asking what her deepest fantasies were and all that. She really didn’t have a lot to say. So asked her about if anything popped up with her ex of almost ten years along those lines, us together almost 3 now. (Was asking about fantasies from different times of her life etc etc). Nothing really came up, but for some reason I said “you were more submissive to him”, and she didn’t say anything, when before she had been replying hastily. I asked why isn’t she saying anything and she kinda did a heh scoff kinda thing. And I asked what’s so funny? And she said something like, “I don’t know he must have just had some kind of power, because he wasn’t an attractive guy at all” And when I asked like what does that look like she could only say stuff like I don’t know he just had some kind of power etc. And this kind of hurt, just cause I guess lol. But I’m here for self improvement so I want to figure out how to develop this skill. I need major help people! I’m more attractive than this guy by a large margin, my dick is way bigger, I make her finish multiple times. I make her finish in positions she was never able to with him. She does way more to please me. Just does things she out right just would refuse this guy. This woman does everything to try to please me outside of the bedroom. Listens to me, confides in me, says I’m all that. But I can feel it… I don’t (or maybe very rarely) have this sexual power over her. She’ll do it with me seemingly just to please me because she doesn’t want me to leave her or whatever, get with over women. (Other women do usually seem more sexually attracted to me not going to lie). I may be slightly autistic to be fair and struggle a bit with verbal communication, so my entire life of attracting females has been very very non verbal, and I’m guessing her ex was a bit more verbally persuading. Not sure! That’s why I’m here for help. How in the hell do you exercise this power to “have game” or whatever you call it
Maybe the other dude wasn't whacking it to pixels in his spare time. Tbh a lot of your post just reads like a typical porn addict. "My dick is way bigger" "I make her cum multiple times" "I fuck her in all kinds of positions", yeah that might sound impressive in your mind but maybe that's not what impresses her, or even the vast majority of women.
Def was whacking it okay but my post isn’t asking how to impress my woman. Was more to give insight on the situation as to hopefully achieve better insight into how to create sexual pull. And to show that I clearly understand that all that doesn’t do it. So that comment was kind of like yeah obviously, tell me something I don’t know situation
Something that I’m learning about sex is that women are way more interested in the connections you make with them outside of the bedroom, than what you may be able to provide in the bedroom. These connections actually increase their sexual attraction. So sure, maybe you’re able to pleasure her in all of these ways, and I’m sure she enjoys it, but likely doesn’t prioritize this when she considers her attraction to you. We men, we definitely prioritize sexual pleasure when it comes to attraction! Perhaps this other guy did more stuff around the house? Provided for her in the subtle ways that she needed? My wife will sometimes tell me that the fact that I did some mundane chore for her turned her on. So, maybe try to focus less on the sex you have to offer, and more on the soft-skills in the relationship. Or, just accept that during that point in her life, her libido was stronger, or that she’s just not as interested in sex as you. It doesn’t seem like your sex life is dead or dying, so I wouldn’t get too bent up about it.
That I can confirm was not the case. Was just some fat dude who played call of duty all day and didn’t give any attention to her. Some have pm’d me and sent videos and that is literally the only thing I can see that may be a factor. I’m just too openly available for her. Which kind of sucks because she’s just literally the only person I’ve been like that to and I’m basically being punished for it. But whatever it is what it is. I have to decide between something new and enjoyable to me. Over keeping her sexually attracted enough to create this “magical pull” which by the looks of it is no more than manipulating someone’s insecurities to make yourself more irresistible to them lol. Life is a funny thing. And relationships are weird. More or less have to decide for myself what to pick of the two based on everything I’ve learned. Based on that though I think I just need to really get my own passions rolling and that might be just enough attention taken away from her that it creates that desire. And it wouldn’t be me intentionally, basically being manipulative to gain it. I’d just be doing me. Which is definitely more my style. I don’t just manipulate people to gain them over and shit like that. That’s not my style and if that’s what someone needs to be pulled to me, than I don’t really care if they are pulled by me or not at that point.
stop fapping become more dominant desirable learn what turns her on fuck her think about how you speak. women love power and dominance and they love the power of suggestion also look after your physical health and appearance
Yeah I think a big thing is how I speak. I do not speak to her like some movie character being sexy etc. I speak to everyone the same. And that is probably a big problem for me. I don’t know how to be that cheesy guy I’ve seen my whole life, and I believe she likes that kind of thing. I’m definitely more dominant and it’s obvious. But still at the same time I have no desire to dominate anyone. And when I do accidentally, like someone gets to me and I lose it a bit. I end up breaking down tbh lol. Just don’t enjoy breaking people and making them feel like weak nothingness. I personally enjoy bringing people up and making them feel big and usually by that point they leave my life and do their own thing. Which I’ve come to terms with and realized that might be one of my purposes on earth. I know most like dominating, and I guess that makes them feel like big boys. But just not who I am. Definitely need to be more cheesy though. Which is a foreign concept to me. But a quick update: she just found out my ex was 9 years younger than me after I saw she got engaged in fb, and it blew her mind a bit, and kept going wooooow, woooooo! Etc being silly lol. And she seems more all over me after that. So I think she kind of lost sight of me being a sexual being as well as whatever else I am. And that kind of reminded her a bit.
you are right about the manipulation. women are sexually turned on by the power of men because women are.submissive if you are strong enough force she will submit herself fully that is what women love this is why women like money, height, physical presence, intelligence, strength mentally and emotionally , why do you.think women have fantasy of rape because they are submissive towards male viritility and strength. it makes women weaker within themselves they become subservient to pleasing and become insecure about there bodies. women are afraid of men and that fear creates attraction . basically women like dominant men who are highly focused in ploughing the field sort of speak.because then they can submit women want to be protected think about it from a biological standpoint of a woman is to.give birth to.your child she will want the strongest most dominant male who can provide and keep her and the baby safe. women are emotional they are strong in public but women have alot of insecurity. when she finds the right man who can provide all these things she will submit in many ways she will be fullfilled in many ways
Yeah see the thing is she already does that. Just didn’t have this cool mojo hey baby what up baby flow to create that sexual pull. I think it is 100 percent because I don’t know how to talk like that at all lol.
i think it comes down to knowing her as an individual and understanding what women want . and having the balls to back it up. if your failing in different aspects in life its going to effect how you carry yourself
Yeah that’s true for sure. I think honestly my biggest problem, again, is probably actual autism lol. And I’m in a good mood right now so I find that funny. I agree with that 200 percent. And everything you said. Man it’s just weird. I’m a weird person I think tbh. I’m not super familiar with all the “ah”s. Beta, alpha etc. But I heard someone mention somewhere along the line of I think sigma, where you are super dominant but completely not into dominating people. And just are off doing your own thing away from everyone else. That’s probably the closest I could describe myself in that type of vernacular. I do think she actually likes that cheesy hey baby what up baby shit, to soften her up and get her in the mood. With me honestly it’s probably almost too dominant. Like too, something. Too strong of a personality. Too on my own path almost that I just don’t soften her up, don’t butter her up. She submits completely in all aspects. And I honestly feel like that is part of the problem as well
I know it’s hard to grasp, but it might be an autistic problem. And I’m not some weak ass, just weak person. I’m just completely in a different world than most people. And she is used to people being cheesy like the movies to soften her up. And I am so clueless on how to act like that
what you describe is now called toxic masculinity . not all men are the same . but one thing is for sure watching porn constantly and becoming lazy and complacent is a sure way to deteriorate masculinity. look at this way older generations where "toxic masculinity" was more of a problem .porn was not so readily available. porn has played a big part in weeding out weakness because people arent ptepared to put on the work. ok you aren't genetically gifted well its going to be more difficult. today youve got men in there.20s and 30s which pied and Ed from compulsibe porn use. but.....rape is down .. there is alot going on the best you can do is quit porn and play to your strengths. why do you think tvs shows are so much more provocative .
I don’t talk down to anyone or anything like that at all. I treat everyone very respectfully and kind on the regular basis. I thought that was toxic masculinity or whatever. Like people that just try to dominate and treat everyone like shit to make themselves feel cool or whatever
you where talking about alpha males beta males etc there are variations in masculinity .. but i am adding to it with "toxic masculinity"
Oh okay. Yeah I see a lot of that. And that’s kind of what I imagine everyone is talking about when they say be dominant and all that
