Hey, this subject may trigger someone, don't know. How do you cope, if you don't get enough sex or sex of low quality? And I'm interested both in cases of you know and don't know why your partner is not in the mood. During reboot and during addiction. I want to find out what is healthy way to react cause I realized I don't really know. For me for the addiction time - I knew the whole time he watches p, not always the extension of it and it took me time to realise he prefers it over me. I thought first it was the difference between low and high libido. So often I was left out and missing him and m to the feelings of sex with him. But it doesn't satisfy me, not as sex. The most part was sex of low quality - I felt he doesn't really want it, often he admitted he does it only for me and didn't o himself. A lot of just fingering me out of pity or mercy. Often I felt disgusted cause I knew he watched p and didn't want to be touched at all but after some time I starved so much I didn't care and I didn't care that he is not really interested. Bad sex or m with him was better than m alone. But I often felt horrible that I kind of force him. And well... For me o, is not the same as satisfaction from sex. It gives joy and kind of makes it bearable but gives maybe 20-30% of satisfaction from real sex. We had it sometimes also when he abstained from p for 1-2 days. But sometimes even if he o, it didn't felt he really wanted it. He used to take zinc, as it makes you produce more sperm so it would be enough for p and for me as I told him I also want him to o with me. He always said that it gives him joy to see me o and doesn't mind to 'do his duty'. He clearly couldn't see the difference even though I told him how it feels but again, something is better than nothing, right? Now he decided to quit. He has a big flatline. For few weeks he said he just doesn't want to do anything. At some point we had sex out of pity. Than few weeks later again and after maybe a week he wanted me. And said that flatline goes slowly away. After a week we cuddled and he wasn't really into but wasn't really against it and it was again out of pity and he o. And than happened something that surprised both of us. I know he didn't relapse. But he had symptoms as he would. His mood swings down and he want just sit there alone and watch yt or play games. And he smells sour. I know it is abstract for most of people but I smell him different after sex and after p. And he smelled like something in between now and his mood went down and was irritable. And he said it was for the first time he felt kind of raped. He is not angry, cause it surprised him more. And now I'm feeling guilty and I don't really know how to cope with my high libido especially when I'm not disgusted anymore for him and our relationship improved and I want him much more... And I realized how unhealthy it is... That I kind of used him and objective him. And well, I think most people can't really have sex with or without emotions without feeling bad about it. I can. I was always striving for sex with love, but when it wasn't there, sex without love was also ok. He had way more sex without love and can't or couldn't see the difference. We started our relationship as one night stand and for some time it was only sex based relationship which evolved to love and we are 5 years together now. Am I part of the problem? I have never watched porn too much, I tried few times, I tried also to watch with him but it never felt right for me. I've never had bf before him but had sex few times. I don't think obsessive about sex and really seldom when we have it 1-2 times a week and also don't m than. But when it's not there... It strikes. Someone said if the relationship has good sex life, than sex is 5% of it. But when it's bad, than sex is 95% of it. So my question is, what do you do if you want sex but can't get it? Do you also have sex out of pity?