How do I stop thinking about my ED

I got PIED and cant maintain an erection with a real girl. I keep thinking about it and getting sad. I dont get random boners and dont remember the last time I did. When I masterbate i realize the left side of my erect penis is lower than right side. Like almost deflated? But my whole oenis is hard nontheless only when I masterbate (its been a while). How do I stop thinking about this?!!