How do I get out of the friendzone??

You didn't ask her out. You're hiding your intentions. You're beating around the bush. You're being deceptive.

Asking her out / being honest / not hiding your intentions is how you get out of the friendzone. You're in the friendzone because you're pretending to be her friend while hiding your real intentions. That's what the friendzone is. It's not being her boyfriend and it's not being her friend. It's something you've created for yourself.

Your desire for "balance" is flawed. What you should be doing is creating imbalance by actually going for what you want. Then it's up to her. So you'll either end up being her boyfriend, friend, or nothing at all. There's no balancing here.

 

You're basically playing not to lose right now. Where you don't win, but you also don't lose either. Thus you have your balance (aka friendzone) where nothing ever happens.

There's no progress without risk. You have to let go of this safety net you've created (the friendzone) and actually ask her out and make your intentions known.

 

My first piece of advice is to not refer to a woman as “your prize.” And I actually think that one statement is the flaw in your entire way of thinking. There is NOTHING you can do to get out of the friendzone. This is not a case where if you work hard you end up with a trophy. she is a person with her own feelings and desires, and her desire is not to be more than your friend. So ask her out or move on. She likely will say no because she sees you solely as a friend. If she saw you as more, she would have acted on that long ago.

 

I feel your pain man. If you've been friendzoned, she's formed an opinion about you already. Changing that is difficult because her opinion is based on her emotional experience of you. I was friendzoned by a very attractive woman once and I asked her why. She told me that I just didn't give her that "sexual spark", the kind of attitude that shows her I'm sexually interested and I have what it takes to follow through on it. And she was exactly right. I was too overwhelmed and anxious by how attractive (and well-bred) she was, I couldn't relax and let my sexual vibe out.

There's not much you can do to change her opinion in the short run because it's based on emotion, not logic. I wouldn't ask her out at this point @Captain Rex. I say give it some time, maybe 2-3 weeks and then try again. Let enough time pass so that she forgets her emotional memory of you but not enough that she forgets who you are. In the meantime don't talk to her too much, maybe just an occasional text. Don't show too much interest in her, instead show her that you're engaged in your own life and that you're doing interesting things.

Ideally, she needs to see that other girls are attracted to you. This will change her emotional perception of you and give you a chance to get out of the friendzone.

Most important (based on my experience): if you want to have any chance with her down the road, you need to start doing something (if you're not already). YOU NEED TO BE APPROACHING OTHER GIRLS. Approach other attractive girls in the meantime and get through that anxiety one step at a time. As you do this your confidence will go up and you'll feel like you have less to lose. Start getting comfortable communicating your sexual intent to women. Otherwise you'll be back in the friendzone the next time you try.

 

You can't swim up to breathe air if you're still holding on to the anchor pulling you down into the ocean.

You can't steal 2nd base in baseball while staying on the 1st base.

You can't have better positive experiences without handling and facing the negative experiences.

You can't have the possibility of dating this girl without risking your friendship and risking rejection. If you even consider her your friend in the first place or you're just holding access to her before you're ready to take a risk on your real intentions.

There's no progress without risk.

The friendzone is your way of delaying the outcome because you fear the unknown.

@GG2002 is right about not calling her your prize or even a CHICK for that matter. Words like that are reinforcing your immaturity. The same immaturity that led you to being trapped in the friendzone.

 

Not my words, someone with great wisdom written this and I think this is a great piece of information:

1. Become less available. Don't always pick up the phone. Don't always text back immediately. Don't always be there.

2. Start saying no more often than not. Not being a dick "NO WAY BITCH!" but more like "sorry, I can't today" or "I'm pretty busy, some other time though for sure" or "why do you need my help with that again?" Be friendly and maybe even playful, but learn to say no and start actually doing it.

3. If you do comply with her request for a favor, make it clear you expect something in return. "Can you drive me to the airport?" "Sure, but you're buying me lunch on the way" "no prob, just throw me some bucks for gas" or something to that effect. Again, don't be confrontational or weird about it, just start being less compliant and available. You have to ease out of the friend zone if you want a future shot with her, so make sure it's somewhat gradual. Each time you demand something bigger and bigger. And remember, it's always better for her to be a little put-off by your new attitude than be her doormat.

4. Lengthen time between contact. Become MIA from her life for a little while. Make her wonder what you've been up to. Make sure she's initiating contact, not you. If she sends you a text "What's up? I haven't seen you in ages!" you are on the right track. "Hey not much, been really busy. We gotta catch up soon!" Friendly, but detached. Allow time for your transformation from wimpy beta friend to baller alpha player to seem organic to her, not forced. 6 months to a year or more. Take your time. This is good for you. And in that time,

5. Work on your game with women.

6. Improve yourself as a man in general.

7. Repeat steps 5 and 6, then repeat again.

8. You're stronger, sleeker, sexier, and more confident. You've got some game. Now she needs to see you asserting yourself sexually with other women. She needs to see you spitting game and getting female attention. She needs to see that you are now a pre-selected male. This is absolutely essential for leaving the friend zone. She needs to wonder "hold on, wait, I thought he was all in love with me? How come he's hitting on those skanks and not me?" Even if you get shot down. Even if you fail. Demonstrate that you are fearless and don't give a fuck. Chicks are rarely able to resist guys with this attitude.


9. At this point, your improvement and growth as a man has given you many more options than her. You now find yourself putting chicks into YOUR friend zone. This is when you realize you didn't do all this for her, you did it for YOURSELF. And that's all that matters brothas. Don't chase skirt. Chase excellence and skirt will follow. If you're still hung up on this one chick, you fucked up and need to go back to step 1.

 

Great advice! What's the source?

 

One of the comments under Alpha M video - if you are looking to reboot your confidence and good looks, check out his videos. Here is the one I took this advice from:

 

Try to find an other girl..I dont know even you get out of the friendzone how good will be this relationship.It is better to find an other girl that likes you from the first time.I think that you get in the friendzone because she dont likes you too much or she has an other option in her mind..There are many women out there.Dont lost your time☺

 

"Showing your intentions without acting needy" is the way to get out of friend zone.
Don't act needy and try to connect with her.