I am 29 years old and have been single for almost 7 years and I don't have any relationship experience or social life. I've been addicted to porn and masturbation for how many years and decided to fight back and stop this addiction. Then I met this girl who is far away from me and has a casual relationship with a bisexual girl. We'd been doing phone sex for a while which triggered my addiction again till it stopped for some reason but we still communicate every day and breadcrumbing. Now, I am back to my old habit and struggling to change this lifestyle of chasing a girl who cannot be mine and masturbating through porn at the same time. Every day I am saying to myself that this time it will be different but the pattern is always repeating. Maybe there is really a problem with me... My Self-esteem is quite low. I'm a mess PS: Apologize if my grammar is not that good.
Everyone has their own journey. You have yours too. A healthy thing to do is getting out of your comfort zone. It is scary, it really is. But truth be told, low self-esteem kinda can lower and shrink that comfort zone even more. I just recently as I moved out from home started to really get out of my comfort zone soo often, and it is showing improvements in my self-esteem, social life and general well being. If you have the chance, try to challenge yourself. Another thing, that keeps me from any form of addiction really is to remember everyone has a soul, and what I mostly focus on when communicating generally with people is trying to understand who they really are and their soul. I dunno, it works great for me. I wish you the best of luck!
I still struggle with low self esteem, I started doing it at a pretty young age so that might have something to do with it. It gets better (slowly) and it takes time, but you start to see other improvements faster so that will motivate you. If you want to get out of this rabbit hole you will need a good reason, otherwise everytime you feel stressed, anxious, sad you will end up in the same place. I relapsed many many times, the pattern was repeating as you say, and I would always ask myself how did I get here again. But in time you start to see how you got there. Probably the most important thing is to never peek and try your best to do Hard Mode, that is the fastest way to heal. Take it one day at a time, if you relapse dont be hard on yourself by adding guilt shame to it, try to learn from it and do better next time. I have been fighting this for 3 years+ and now I finally got to a point where I dont even think about masturbating, I am able to go on with my life and face it (even though some days its pretty hard), if I did it I think everyone can do it, you will see a side of yourself you never thought existed. I wish you good luck and I believe in you
Thanks for the replies. I thought that posting here somehow could help me but somehow it's getting worse. I am now addicted to watching lesbian porn and was so curious about how they have sex. I know I am the only one who can help myself but I do really need some suggestions on how I could prevent this mess.
I have been lonely for a long time and I have been trying to change it for a long time. I suggest would go out to a social place like a college or an event and meet new people who share your interest, I know it's hard now but look to the future to better yourself.
