Hope for the future, Reboot#1 on here.

i am very inspired by what I’ve read over many forums on here, and I’ve decided to make my own account. 3 days ago i decided to do a “reboot”. It’s been hard, especially just 5 minutes ago when I’ve been craving and I saw some inappropriate stuff on instagram and almost lost my 3 day streak.
A little history on myself... Since about age 16 I’ve been addicted to pornography up to now, I’m 23. I recently have fallen back into old habits and demons. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I served a 2 year mission, which requires one to be clean from pornography and mastrubation before you serve. My desire to serve helped me kick the habit, with just a couple slips during my mission (masturbation, no porn). I’ve gotten married since then and when my wife leaves for a couple weeks at a time I have fallen back into the terrible habit. Loneliness and boredom are what I feel are big problems for me especially. My wife’s school is far away and doing long distance has been hard on me, thus resulting in the reoccurrence of my addiction. I’ve gone years before, so who says I can’t again! I feel that writing on here will give me inspiration and courage and honesty to help be clean.

 

Thanks man. It’s saturday morning, and I’m feeling cravings. This is hard. I have to get my priorities straight. I better get out of my apartment or I surely will relapse.

 

Well. I relapsed yesterday. Sucks. I fought off one craving, but it came roaring back a couple of hours later. I just need to follow through with my plan, especially when the cravings are so intense.

 

I’ve gotta have the desire that that was my only relapse. I can do this. I have to RUN from temptation

 

Well. I need to get on here more, I made it 10 days!!!! I’m trying to celebrate that, because making it that long is a success in itself. But I’ve fallen and I need to try again.