hocd and pmo made me believe I was gay

Paddy · Feb 13, 2016

I was wondering if having anxiety from hocd has ever made anyone act on their thoughts to try and relieve the anxiety from the fear of hocd. When I pmo'd my tastes grew to trans porn and sometimes gay porn. I'd be so consumed with fear that I was gay or bisexual that I was a constant state of anxiety. All someone had to do was mention the word gay and I would tense up. Even if a gay person was on TV and I was watching with friends I would get really uncomfortable and could bearly speak. I convinced my self I was bisexual even though I was only attracted to the female form and thought that the only way Icould get rid of the fear that wasbuilding up inside of me was toconfront it and accept that, that was who I was. I would get drunk and go to gay bars, i had a few encounters with different guys and trans.I wasalways drunk. Guess what the feardidn't leave. I thought I had to goone step further and come out topeople. I was sure this was definitely going to solve the problem and move on. But that didn't work either. I just felt morescared and even developed a severe case of social anxiety. My pmo addiction convinced me that I was something I was not because I didn't understand what it did to mybrain over the year's and I'm sureNoFap will help with some of the issues and I'll have to work on others. I just wanted to post this tosee maybe if pmo addiction has disrupted anyone else's life this severely.

Ikindaknew · Feb 13, 2016

Paddy said: ↑

I was wondering if having anxiety from hocd has ever made anyone act on their thoughts to try and relieve the anxiety from the fear of hocd. When I pmo'd my tastes grew to trans porn and sometimes gay porn. I'd be so consumed with fear that I was gay or bisexual that I was a constant state of anxiety. All someone had to do was mention the word gay and I would tense up. Even if a gay person was on TV and I was watching with friends I would get really uncomfortable and could bearly speak. I convinced my self I was bisexual even though I was only attracted to the female form and thought that the only way Icould get rid of the fear that wasbuilding up inside of me was toconfront it and accept that, that was who I was. I would get drunk and go to gay bars, i had a few encounters with different guys and trans.I wasalways drunk. Guess what the feardidn't leave. I thought I had to goone step further and come out topeople. I was sure this was definitely going to solve the problem and move on. But that didn't work either. I just felt morescared and even developed a severe case of social anxiety. My pmo addiction convinced me that I was something I was not because I didn't understand what it did to mybrain over the year's and I'm sureNoFap will help with some of the issues and I'll have to work on others. I just wanted to post this tosee maybe if pmo addiction has disrupted anyone else's life this severely.
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There is some many different categories on the porn tubes sites nowadays, that there is some people into cartoon porn and tentacle porn. So, there is people watching all this stuff.
I did watch a little bit of trans stuff a few times, didn't really excited me, but the curiosity was there.

Also, the coolidge effect makes us go for something different every time we get bored of the "style" of porn to get the same excitement level. When your brain is getting bored of the regular sex, you go for something more exciting and new, and you believe that you love it....its inevitable that the hetero types will eventually watch at least one gay/lesbo video at some point.

There was a poster on here a few weeks back that said he was watching a lot of rough sex "in the woods" kinda deal. He was not aroused by his GF doing regular sex anymore. He wanted to live the fantasy, and was thinking about getting into that "in the woods/dark alley" sex with is GF to relive the same stuff as in the videos....

Dessutom · Feb 14, 2016

WARNING: some words might be triggers

I recognize your feelings as well! I really started to doubt my sexuality over the years of my porn addiction. I got a heavy cum/blowjob/big-dick fetish and realised I was focusing more on the male organ than the women. Sometimes I even fantasized about taking the role of the woman in the videos I watched. Just as you did, I convinced myself that I'm at least bisexual. Now I know it was most likely my brain seeking novelty to feed my addiction in combination with low self esteem. There's also another thread here about sissy fetish that might interest you.

Dgreat24 · Mar 26, 2018

Dessutom said: ↑

WARNING: some words might be triggers

I recognize your feelings as well! I really started to doubt my sexuality over the years of my porn addiction. I got a heavy cum/blowjob/big-dick fetish and realised I was focusing more on the male organ than the women. Sometimes I even fantasized about taking the role of the woman in the videos I watched. Just as you did, I convinced myself that I'm at least bisexual. Now I know it was most likely my brain seeking novelty to feed my addiction in combination with low self esteem. There's also another thread here about sissy fetish that might interest you.
Click to expand...

Dude ! That’s what happened to me too lmaoo. Just gotta abstain and the brain will heal. I’m thankful for people like you guys because you’re brave enough to talk about HOCD problems. Thanks for being open. If we aren’t open enough we won’t resolve or find solutions to our problems.

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hocd and pmo made me believe I was gay

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