Laying in bed last night, trying to go to sleep for Monday morning work and I just kept laying in bed thinking about porn. This lead to 2 relapses in a short time span, and it already disrupted my life quite a bit as I almost got in trouble today from the excessive need to fap pulling me away from things I needed to do. It's disappointing because I knew what I was doing when I got up and turned my computer on. At first it was I'll just look at stuff but won't do anything. Then it was all hell from there. I do have some advice for people with a lot of porn on their computer. Make sure you delete your browsing history because that's what got me in this specific instance. I pulled up what I was thinking about and there it was, ready to pull me in again. Luckily, I found the nerve to delete all the things I redownloaded (just 5 minutes ago) as well as the sites they came from (history cleared) so I am hoping that is one less thing to trigger me in the future. That was the 8th day I relapsed and I was not ready for the 'pull' to masturbate, and the funny part is I actually had a good night talking to friends online and I made a bunch of new ones who loved me. Tonight I don't have any urge to talk to them and they've tried to include me. One reason is because I'm also sleep depraved. So, here I go again, wish me luck and strength in the future, I thought quitting would be easy! Boy, was I wrong.
