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Hi. I'm new. Where do I start?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Doughboi, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. Feb 13, 2015 #1
    Doughboi

    Doughboi New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,
    I just registered and am ready to begin my nofap adventure. I've done other things, had counseling, hate forums, but need something... So... Help?

    A little about me: I'm 38 yo male, addicted to PMO since 10, married with 2 young girls. I believe porn is not only bad for me, but also my relationships, and my girls. I hate the control it has in my life (PMO daily - at least 5 times/wk), but am dead to it, unable to even think I can be actually free of it. I feel powerless and fruitless. I've been depressed at work lately which doesn't help, and I just don't know what to do...

    So here I am. I know this is a bio-chemical addiction and an emotional addiction. I know this damages myself and my relationships. I know my agreements that bind me to it are rooted in childhood issues I've technically worked through. But I'm so stuck...

    So I'm here. Hoping to be encouraged and understood. Hoping to be guided into a process or system that may actually be effective. I've tried internet filters, accountability groups, etc. Nothing has worked... Help?

    Thanks for the read.
    -Doughboi
     
    Doughboi, Feb 13, 2015
    Doughboi, Feb 13, 2015
    #1
  2. Feb 13, 2015 #2
    Getter Better

    Getter Better Guest

    Hello Dough. Writing about it might well help. It's helped me. Feeling like you're doing something in public (albeit anonymously) can give you some extra accountability - "I don't want to let them down".

    This is just personal, but I'd say share everything that you're comfortable with sharing and it's very likely that you'll find people who'll say, "well done, man" and "yeah, I feel like that too."

    Starting a journal is a great point. I'd take a look round the site and if you see anything that resonates with you stick your oar into the conversation. It's how I started and it seems to work OK. I'm doing it now ;)

    A couple of weeks ago I thought I'd never change. I don't consider myself "cured" but I have made a huge turnaround with some real, tangible benefits in just a week of sometimes very hard effort. It can be done - I have the will power of a moth in a lighthouse.

    I've had counselling in the past - it started as alcoholism treatment but this certainly came up - and I didn't end up making changes from it. There was no magic lifting of the weight when it was shared. I'm glad I did it, but I now think a more active approach to addiction will work for me. Maybe it will for you too. Ask yourself what you're going to do about this and start to do it.

    Nice to see a new voyager, I'm sure you'll get lots more helpful advice. Good luck Dough!
     
    Getter Better, Feb 13, 2015
    Getter Better, Feb 13, 2015
    #2

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