hi i am 39 married male

Hey, Harry278! Welcome to the forums. We're glad youre here

I joined the forum like 8 days ago. And I've been visiting every day almost like its meetings. And so far I have got to accumulate days.

If you check my intro thread I've been on and off with PMO since 2013 and started PMO in like 2000

Well I hope that you have a good time here

 

Hi Harry,

Welcome. You've joined a great community. I hope you find the help you need here to get and stay sober. As you probably know from your NA experience, honesty is mandatory for long-term sobriety. For me, abstaining from pornography really isn't that much different from abstaining from drugs. It required a new approach to living an a fundamental shift in personality. It has been worth it. At first, I just wanted to make the problem go away. But I have gained so much more. Chat me up anytime.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

Hi harry. nofap isn't exactly a 12 step program. 12 step programs for this would be Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous... Yeah there is SLAA and SRA too but those are more to do with compulsive relationships. So SA and SAA deal with PMO addictions in a 12 steps format.

In SA and SAA there are phone meetings throughout the day. I saw that you want to connect with a sponsor and by phone in another post.

http://www.sa.org/docs/phnflyer.pdf

https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/telemeetings/

That might be of help to you. What I did on phone meetings was just un-mute when the moderator asks who wants to share. Introduce myself, share and ask for a sponsor. They also give out phone lists by email with lots of people to call.

So if you wanted a more 12 step approach, those might help. Also S.A. for example has Daily Sobriety Renewal calls all morning which is similar to your last post.

Hope that helps. Sorry if it told you information you already knew

ANd of course you're welcome to stay here on NoFap. I'm not doing the sponsor thing with NoFap. I talk to a recovery partner here as well as just made some friends so far. Having peer support through each others journals and posts has been good enough for me. The boards are like a step 2 for me. Re-structuring my thinking about PMO, from thinking I want it, to viewing it as an addiction, and finding what is actually good for me in life. Also right now I like the reading/writing format more than voice and my physical problems make it too hard to go to in person meeting.

Or you could mix and match between NoFap, SA and SAA And if you already have a higher power from NA then you have alot going for you

 

Hi Harry,

Nofap isn't 12-step. SAA is actually the foundation of my recovery, I started 8 years ago. I was a full blown sex addict with acting out behaviors that came to involve getting massages while I was still in my first marriage. I only came here 34 days ago. What I like about nofap is that there is so much activity going on. I can always come here for help and there is a newcomer coming through the door every few minutes who needs help.

Essentially, my recovery is 12-step principled and I come here to practice the 12th step daily, that's my view on it. I often refer to my recovery background in terms of what worked for me but I try not tell to people that's what they should do. I often say in my posts "whatever works for you" because I believe that's what people should do.

Here are some of my boundaries:
- I have no browser on my iPhone and no ability to install apps
- I have filter and accountability software on my computer
- I have a real life accountability partner who gets my reports and holds the passwords to my computer/phone
- I do not use the computer late at night unless I am posting to nofap
- I go to bed when my wife goes to bed
- I call/text people in my program daily, usually 3x per day
- I tell on myself. If I get any "bright ideas", I get them out to my AP right away
- I have a defined sobriety plan that my AP and I agree on
- I am an AP to others in recovery

I hope this helps. Peace,
-Quinn

 

Sure harry. I am on the boards every day now it seems they are becoming my life style. So you can always message me and I will get back to you pretty promptly If you want to think of me as a sponsor that is okay.

 

To me...everyday is a challenge and you have the right approach. One day at a time. I too am married with 2 kids and have been PMOing for 25 years. It is a hard thing to get past because you are changing behavior that has been part of your identity for a long time. Now you are embarking into a new identity for yourself. Be patient and know there will be bumps in the road and you will probably fall of the wagon a few times before you beat this thing. Just understand it’s a process. I wish you all the best. Good luck.