Hey Everybody

Hey Fapstronauts!
My name's Matt, I'm 27 from Sydney, Australia.
I've joined Nofap because it's dawned on me what 14 years of watching Porn and using it for pleasuring myself has done to inhibit the development of my Sexuality and that it has probably caused me to lose something with a very special Person that I regret very much. Not to mention really screwed up other relationships that I have very briefly been in.

I want to take full control of my sexuality and not slip or let myself succumb to the temptation or false comfort I found in Porn.

I look and think of embarrassing moments;
- Having Porn open on my PC when a friend comes around
- Friends discovering porn on my Hard Drives
- Porn searches left in search bars
- Staining and destroying carpet
- Stained pants
- Discreetly trying to look at porn when someone else is in the room trying to sleep.

Looking back and listing it like this really shows how hooked I am. I can't bring this up with most people. It doesn't display any physical signs. And the people it really affects are those who you wish it wouldn't. I want to tell my family of my struggle, but I'm not too sure how to go about it. I don't want to sound like I'm a pervert to my friends.

And, the act of watching porn is in it's own way abusive. You don't know where the porn is coming from and what the circumstances are for the performers.

I was raised by a strong Woman and I want my values to reflect what she wanted them to be as I was growing up.

I want a healthy sex life and sexuality. I want to be able to meet someone and enjoy the intimacy we would share without the thought of comparing it to porn or the expectation that it will lead in that direction.