HELP IN RECOVERY

So i was going to school for the first time,i was about 5 and i remember i was the guy, like the girls asked me out, i had the most prettiest of them all, it went on for about a few years and then BOOM when i was about 9 I discovered my fathers porn books, so I watched it was awesome i was living the fantasy, then i would get my first phone, started watching videos, started masturbated, so after that, i was 13, no girlfriends ever, no 'cool' friends, stop doing sports, rugby and athletics, got a xbox, laptop, started watching HD porn and play Xbox for about my entire high school life was social awkward, then i hit rock bottom, my brother died, i did drugs, almost killed myself, then I stopped drinking, i stopped with the drugs, and with the porn and masturbation, the drugs and alcohol stopped like entirely, but i still relapsed a couple of times with the porn and masturbation, I'm gonna be honest, being high and drunk at the same time while masturbating on porn feels so so awesome, but it is fake, and it ruins your social life and your body,, so after I quit al those things i went through severe withdrawals, im talking about depression, anxiety, sleeping problems, mood swings, i was a mess, but now here I am after everything, I have a awesome job, my social anxiety is gone, I can speak to any lady, they check me out, i go on dates with really hot women, actually just 2, but it doesn't matter and no I don't have sex with them i still wanna go 90 days orgasm free, im studying to become a computer programmer and I'm also training to be a boxer,, i mean life is awesome without porn, you just have to let it go and find new days to adapt, it just makes you feel awesome and energetic and good, no drugs, no alcohol and no porn, and boom i feel great, i am great, life is great