Hello

Today is my first day. I googled "online support for pornography problems" and this site popped up. I am hopeful that by talking more openly about my challenges and by humbling myself to be accountable to you all, we can help each other change our behavior and thought patterns so we can step out from this darkness. I am convinced that community and connectedness are the keys to recovery.

I am a Christian, so I often feel hypocritical when I trash my moral standards by succumbing to pornography. It's a real dilemma. My experience tells me that judgement and shame are counter productive to overcoming addiction. I've tried that path with myself and friends. Shame doesn't work, long term. On the other hand, actions also have consequences. My marriage has suffered because of this. I want to change.

I presume I am older than most of you - I'm in my 60's and I've been dealing with this for a long time. My wife probably suspects I struggle in this area, but we've never talked about it. I hide it from her and from everyone else. Hiding is a big part of the problem. This is my first step in coming clean.

 

I haven't developed a strategy yet. It's early Saturday morning. I have two days to myself because my wife is out of town. I've reading through all of these posts and threads, watching the video. I actually feel good because it feels like I am finally dealing with this head on. I know I am at the beginning of a long trek, but I feel confident. I'm hoping people like you will help challenge me and encourage me to keep trudging on. I want to be free.