Hello, 26 y/o newbie salutes you!

Hi there! Nice to join the community. I'm really excited about trying this out.

So about me, I'm 26 and I study and work at the University. I'm single and I'm not in a relationship. I have strong beliefs that my social capabilities are actually fine, but I've lost interest in finding a partner.

I've been watching porn since I was like 13 IIRC. Back then it wasn't that I watched A LOT of porn. Just like every kid, was curious. I had a girlfriend for 4 years from 16 to 20, to whom I lost my virginity. We had a really bad break-up and I was in really bad shape psychologically speaking. Long story short, I went to a shrink and I kinda solve my issues, was able to move on and be with other girls since.

During my "recovery" I started to watch lots more of porn, till the date I still watch a lot. And the categories becoming more taboo, more hardcore sometimes. Just like everything you read in the porn addiction article. I wasn't worried and didn't see it as a problem until recently. I was with this girl, just hanging out, we had sex and I wasn't quite able to perform well. I wanted to, but just couldn't. We still had sex but it was "meh'ish". I couldn't finish, I found myself going flaccid during penetration.

Back at home, I started to realize that even when I masturbated I never was "fully hard". I could bring myself to orgasm without being really turned on, and it was more like a habit rather than actually wanting to masturbate. It's like when you go and look what's in the fridge even though you aren't hungry, but for me, it was masturbating to porn, anything that could bring me a bit hard, just enough to seal the deal, was cool.

I feel like nowadays I've lost my appetite for women and can just deal with watching porn and masturbating. I don't even enjoy the orgasm from masturbation that much. I wish to regain my vigor, gain back my appetite and that pleasure I used to feel even when masturbating, so I started reading and found this site. I hope I find a challenge capable of bringing me back to normal.

 

Thanks a lot for your reply, I really hope to see changes during this new period!