Having thoughts about seeing escorts. I might need some advice here.

I recommend that you continue to abstain from PMO and MO, but that you don't see escorts. Instead focus your time and energy on self improvement such as your fitness and your career. Regarding dating, focus your efforts on learning how to attract and date women. I would sign up for a dating site, and spend a significant amount of time building up a good profile with good pictures and text, and don't give up if you are not immediately successfull.

Good luck!

 

If you have the guts to cold approach women in real life and risk rejection and for want of a better word that cringey feeling of talking to strangers then go for it.

If you can ask our girls from your own social circle and risk making that relationship weird if the affection is not reciprocal then again I say go for it.

However the brutal truth is that you are not guaranteed success in either of these approaches especially tinder since women are incredibly picky on there.

Here's the truth no-one wants to talk about- success in NoFap but a lingering and prolonged unsuccessful period with women results in you becoming a non religious monk.

You have a breaking point. I don't know what if that is 30 cold approach es, one thousand swipe s or whatever with no results. You decide that for yourself. However when you get to that point, I would not fault you in seeing a lady of the night.

Since you are young you can set the bar relatively high. Good luck with your dating.

 

It takes some work to date women. Talking, flirting, learning. Escorts are easy. You pay them and they f**k you. But not b/c they really want to.

You’ll get more spend for your money dating real girls. Channel that sexual energy into getting you a real woman rather than dripping a huge chunk of cash to have a bang.

 

Since you have started the process of wanting to quit porn, there will definitely be challenges and obstacles that will throw you off course. Just to share, I am around your age (27) and have never gotten into a relationship as well, currently still a virgin. So I guess I can relate to what you are going through right now.

From time to time, I will also have the thoughts of going for a happy ending massage, prostitutes or escorts to try it out or relieve my sexual tension (I have never done those before). After all, we are in the prime of our lives and don't want to waste it, right? But I think you have to constantly remind yourself that this is a similar period when we were teenagers or kids, before we had access to the infinite amounts of pornography on the internet. Once you start, there is no going back and the damage will be done, even though you can salvage the situation at some point in your life.

Since you mentioned that you won't give up attracting women, it means that you have a strong desire to engage in a real relationship and have sex with someone you love/like, whatever the case may be. I think you need to harness this feeling/desire and make it more powerful that the desire of wanting to get an escort . Instant and easy gratification like this is definitely not worth it, just like pornography. As some above have mentioned, there is a breaking point for all of us. I get it. I am scared that I will hit that breaking point too when life breaks us in a million ways.

Experiment and find ways to keep yourself occupied. Know your triggers as well and address them. Go for a walk. Spend time with your family. Play a video game. Watch a netflix show. Hang out with friends. What works for others may not necessarily work for you. The important thing is you find out what works best for you. I believe the struggle with such urges/temptation will always be there but it should fade as we get older/wiser (I hope haha). Stay strong.

All the best!

 

Hey bro! You can do this. I’m trying to find an accountability partner. You wanna talk?

 

I can totally relate to your fears about wasting your 20s. It's strange because I have a pretty low libido nowadays but I still feel like I should be making the most of 'my prime' more than I have done. Life just gets in the way.

I seem to be the odd one out here but I wouldn't necessarily advise you against seeing an escort. I've paid for sexual services a few times and, to be honest, I don't regret it (well, the first two times were good but the third was a bit strange). It is a fair bit of money to spend but it can really boost your confidence, plus it's just a really interesting experience. If I were you, I'd start with a massage and, if you feel comfortable, go back and pay for more (or take extra cash with you!).

 

Would you be willing to help being an accountability partner?

 

Not a good idea, part of our problem with porn is we view women as objects, exactly how you’d view and escort. Plus you may get some nasty surprises with sti’s, some of which are permanent as happened to someone I know

 

Seeing an escort doesn't guarantee you a good sexual experience. I've been to massage parlors, and even used to use Craigslist when they still had the section. Do I regret spending what probably amounts to thousands of dollars over the years- mostly no. I do regret not using that money to buy BTC or invest in things but some of the experiences were great.
Doing it once isn't a big deal but if you make it a habit of paying for sex will you'll hate yourself. I doubt you'll only do it only once if you decide to start. It's not going to give you more confidence, bc it's really just a bandaid over your larger issues.
You should try going to live concerts. If you're into EDM and don't feel embarrassed dancing in front of people it's a good place to meet girls. A large chunk of girls at these shows are single and down to make out with strangers. Just gotta have some balls to approach and have fun!