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Hardest day ever... so far

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Almtead, Oct 30, 2015.

  1. Oct 30, 2015 #1
    Almtead

    Almtead Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone. I'm on day 6 of my second attempt to reboot, my last streak was 12 days and I felt I needed to post to get this off my chest. All day long I fought an nearly uncontrollable urge to PMO and I came inches away from relapse. It is a miracle, I believe it was because of my higher power, that I didn't fail. I can't express how bad this was, when I relapsed before the urge was way less intense than it was today and somehow I managed to pull it off. I don't know what or if anything triggered me and I've gone to incredible lengths to prevent as many triggers as I personally can control. The urges have finally faded, all though it took 12 hours off and on and I'm glad I made it but it scares me because I don't want to get months into my reboot, I'm aiming for 6 to 9 and get urges like that again and relapse. Well thanks for letting me vent and let me know if anyone has any techniques to help urges that get that bad. Meditation, my progress journal, and thinking about how little and temporary the reward is compared to how horrible I would feel afterwards helped me a lot today.
     
    Almtead, Oct 30, 2015
    Almtead, Oct 30, 2015
    #1
  2. Oct 30, 2015 #2
    Dir3ctX

    Dir3ctX Fapstronaut

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    Keep on my bro... I had been there exactly.. .. Its lessen with time and get easier to control the urge... Good job there...
     
    Dir3ctX, Oct 30, 2015
    Dir3ctX, Oct 30, 2015
    #2
    Almtead likes this.
  3. Oct 30, 2015 #3
    taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    taqwa, Oct 30, 2015
    taqwa, Oct 30, 2015
    #3
  4. Oct 30, 2015 #4
    andawg

    andawg Fapstronaut

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    I've only been at it a few days, but what has helped me is reminding myself that my urges are ultimately chemical processes happening (or not happening in the brain) and I even think about the science of what is happening. Putting the urge into the context of biology and chemistry makes me feel far less attached to the urge, and makes the urge much less like it is 'me' and it is more 'my brain' (a weird distinction but it works) going through some shit. When I think about it this way, the urge loses a lot of its power, because it stops being as much a powerful, almost overwhelming feeling, and more of just a chemical process that my body is getting through. hope this helps!
     
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    #4
  5. Oct 30, 2015 #5
    andawg

    andawg Fapstronaut

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    Another thing that helps is instead of thinking of the urge as a negative, as 'oh shit, no, an urge' I switch it into 'good! my body and mind are starting to adjust, going into withdrawal, which means that my no PMO is starting to work!' The pain or difficulty is actually a sign that I am moving through withdrawal (which is great!), rather than something is wrong. I try to take every urge and not giving in as a moment of moving closer to recovery, of building resolve, will power, dedication, fortitude, and patience. best of luck bruddah
     
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    #5
  6. Oct 30, 2015 #6
    andawg

    andawg Fapstronaut

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    start around 2:15
     
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    andawg, Oct 30, 2015
    #6

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