I had done 11 days of no fapping, which was amazing for me. I then had sex earlier tonight which was fine, so had to reset. I made a rule that I'm allowed to have real sex just avoid porn. However on my drive back from the girls house, a deer jumped out, and basically wrote off my car, luckily I was fine, just very angry and upset. I then masturbated to porn for the hell of it when I got home twice. Considering the circumstance, that I did it to relieve the tension after being in a road traffic accident just 30 minutes before, I think it's fine. But I have reset my counter and will start again.
I also relapsed today. And I was also at 11 (which is where I was last time, too). And it was done right after some stress was thrown at me. I don't regret it all that much honestly. But I think I only PMO'd 5 times in the month of April. So, there's been overall progress. Then I wrote in my journal what triggered it, what I overcame during the 11-day hitting streak (because everything in life is done in baseball metaphors), and what I could do differently next time. The whole idea is overall progress and the number of the streak isn't really as important as personal growth. So, best of luck in your continuing growth. Also, glad you are okay after hitting deer.
Yeah in hindsight I find it surprising that stress-anger can be a trigger for me too. Actually that was one of the alarm bells that made me question whether PMO was more than just a natural, fun outlet of sexual energy. Being driven there from a place of hatred made me realise that bigger forces were at play that were actually preventing me from directing legitimate anger and good sexual feelings into the right paths -like standing up for myself or fighting for someone's love; they were just isolating me and teaching me to take my frustration out on the porn actors. It's all bs. We need to rewire ourselves to use our passions in the way they are meant to be used. It's free energy which we either use to build up or tear down... Be a builder!
I have to agree with Anon Hymous here. NoFap is not just about abstaining, it's about finding better lifestyle to replace our old destructive behaviors with. No one said it's about a streak, but about taking control over discomfort, and fapping to diminish stress is just a way to cope with it. Learn to master it, do no accept and rationalize man, it is dangerous and counter productive.
I agree with the guys. It sounds terrible and I sypmathise with you. But it is still a rationalisation. Stress is a part of life and it is crucial to learn how to live with it on a regular basis. Believe me, cold shower gets rid of stress just as easily as masturbation.
I also agree. I think one of the keys to beating PMO is finding new ways to relieve stress. I must say guys, relapses are bad, you shouldn't be so flippant. Take it seriously, you don't have to be guilt stricken, but an attitude like that towards relapse is not going to take you far...
What about this notion of willpower being a myth, and that one must 'surrender', religiously speaking, in order to truly overcome?
As in something like "God I can't do this by myself. I give you the angst, desire and frustration to do with what you will. Because I might misuse them in ineffective and destructive ways."? And if you don't believe in God or aren't religious, etc., saying something similar like "I'm setting the frustration aside and putting my focus on _____ ." I've also visually imagined myself dying to the craving when I'm really feeling it. It did the trick 2-3 times and then I got weak. But even Luke had trouble making rocks float with Yoda at first.
