So I had a spiritual awakening last year where I quit porn + masturbation for about 249 days, and I ended up relapsing due to humping the bed. I can't watch porn anymore, because I get extremely bad headaches and eye strain that go on for days. However, I seem to be in a masturbation only loop due to finding new things about my body that I did not know before. I've found ways to get an orgasm without touching my penis, and some of these ways were pretty interesting. I don't feel any guilt or shame with masturbation, and I love touching my body at night, because people have told me that I am attractive. The reason why I have wanted to quit masturbation is because I have a spiritual teacher that says you get more energy when you quit masturbation. However, the dots don't seem to connect here, because semen will still release during sex. I'm guessing that this may have something to do with the belief that masturbation is a waste of time. Thanks for reading.
Theres a lot to unpack here. - it says you quit PMO for 249 days last year, does that mean you have had relapses? MO is unfortunately a quick road back to PMO. As addicts, we must be very careful how we interact with our sexuality. For reasons of sobriety alone, I would caution against it temporarily. How long were you addicted to PMO for ? For many of us its years, or decades. 249 days is not that much in that context. - spirituality can be very healing but it can also be a crutch. I encourage you to write down the benefits you have found from no PMO / nofap. How it has helped your life. kind of like a pros and cons list compared to what MO has "given" you. My guess is, not that much. - MO is ok for some people and at some times but not others. Early in recovery it actually was a help for me. But its not just a waste of time - your "seed" as people say is the "life force energy" and contains a LOT of nutrients. spilling it all the time will make you tired and more weak. There are actual physical downsides. - yes you do O during / after sex. But I somehow doubt you are having as much sex as you are MO-ing. and either way, you can limit these things to a healthy amount. as addicts in recovery its important to do. Many here recommend staying abstinent for 90 days to "reboot". Its extremely helpful and if you *cant* do that, a sure sign that you have a strong addiction to P, M, or O. good luck!
I didn't have any relapses over the 249 days. I disagree that MO leads back to PMO. Masturbation is found in animals. Porn is something constructed in a studio. Like I said, I can't watch porn anymore due to headaches and eye strain. I never was "addicted" to PMO, it was more of a thing I was doing casually every day, and didn't view it as a problem. How is spirituality a crutch? Explain.
MO *can* lead back to PMO, especially in addicts. I think its clear from my post that I am not anti-MO. But as addicts, we should be cautious about it. Especially applying a "hands off its 100% natural no matter what it's allowed" mindset. If you were never addicted to PMO, and you have no problem with MO - "you feel no guilt or shame about it and you enjoy it" - then why are you here? Why are you posting at all? This is a forum for people recovering from PMO addiction. Denial will make your recovery a lot more difficult. I don't reply with help or answers to people that are in deep denial and refuse to confront their addiction. I'll just wish you luck.
A portion of the spiritual community is fused with the nofap community, but the spiritual community is doing it for reasons such as energy conservation and so forth. But yeah, this looks more like a porn addiction rehab place. I should of made this post in a different category. I wanted to stop masturbation, because you get more energy conservation when you're out here doing stuff.
