Going on a 50 day streak

Environment is vital. Change it when needed. Change your habits for the better so you are less likely to feel triggered by it.

And for the days, it's nice to have come this far, but in the end it doesn't really matter. A slip up is just as easy to happen to me as to anyone else. I've read stories of fapstronauts who had a streak of 365+ days and still relapsed. Is that year wasted? Absolutely not, but you start at 0. But thank you @Meshuga and @Blackshut for mentioning it!

 

Day 155

A chain is as strong as its weakest link.

This saying came to mind in regards of my daily PMO process and my habit forming process. If I'm really set to banish PMO from my life, how consistent am I then with building new habits? Keep working on making habits stick and review which ones work and which don't once in a while.

Work-out: day 48
It became more and more possible to do what I set out to do. 10 o clock was not a problem this time, as I managed my habits before. Habits don't live in a vacuum, but are responsive and a part of living.

Walk: day 55
The waking world is full of activity. Daylight is meant for living until you go to your nest. When the evening sets in, the whole world comes to a rest.

Screentime: day 55
Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 1:29 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 14 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 52
The bond between two loved ones is almost sacred. Communication is the glue that holds lovers together and becomes the lubricant when our lives start to slowly drift apart.

Meditation: day 145
My day started with a morning meditation. Am thinking of changing the time to better suit my morning rhythm.

PMO Study: day 155
Every moment is a moment to truly experience life. And from reading, a slip up is very easily done. Days of abstinence say nothing, as only a cured mind and body counts. For as long as this poison still courses through our veins and corrupts our minds, we are still in the shackles of PMO.

Sleep: day 7
A Lot of time was spent tossing and turning, but I eventually fell asleep. Slept well and feel relaxed.

Healthy eating: day 9
The first step to a FODMAP meal plan for next week has been made. Dishes have been chosen and I'm meticulously studying the text in the Fiber Fueled cookbook, as it contains a lot of knowledge on the inner workings of your gut.

Cold showers: day 55
Building of willpower comes one day at a time. How can I assume I am Wim Hof, if I refuse to take a plunge daily and face my weaknesses?

 

Congrats man

Sure I can, I actually relapsed on day 49 if ya remember...

Well, you have been one to me as well.. I'm happy to see you made it this far! Just don't forget that when things seem to be getting better you stop being cautious and then it's easy to fall back in... one bad day and before you know it you're back where you began. The struggle is never truly over... Wishing you luck.

 

Day 156

What many might not consider when stopping with PMO, is that its not merely stopping PMO. As watching P and acting out has found a place in your life, doing a reboot means to overcome yourself. It's to find new ways to deal with the same emotions which you previously used PMO for. Change your habits in your doing and in your thinking. Change habits in your surroundings by adding something or taking something away, so that you may start to live a new life.

Work-out: day 49
A problem was experienced with doing my job which made me cranky. As I was solving the problem, I was late for my appointment with myself to do to a workout at 10 o'clock.

Walk: day 56
The evening sky was filled with the sound of laughter of the neighbors and people having a good time. The further I walked away, the more the laughter muted and the more the evening started to speak to me.

Screentime: day 56
Spent 15 minutes on Netflix, 2:23 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 7 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 53
By speaking together with genuine openness, it is possible to speak out the hardest problems. However, it is not enough to say that you're open. You really need to be willing to leave your station and find the other.

Meditation: day 146
The day started with a meditation. I focused my hearing on the cars rushing on the highway and felt a calmness. The soft sounds that were carried by the wind made me quiet inside.

PMO Study: day 156
'Am I really solving my problem?' is the question I was asking myself yesterday. It can feel so good to do all the things we 'are supposed to do' to battle PMO and then be cured, but it doesn't work like that. We need to address the problems that lie beneath. The feelings of rejection and hurt that led us to PMO. Unless they are really free of pain in us (usually done with the help of a professional) we can start to heal in a natural way that doesn't ask for an addiction.

Sleep: day 8
As soon as my head hit the pillow, the train left for destination dreamland. I woke up once, but fell asleep easily again.

Healthy eating: day 10
My girl cooked a king's meal yesterday and it was very good. Today my preparation for the diet will start and I will buy supplies to feed myself properly next week.

Cold showers: day 56
Taking a cold shower is one of the ways to build willpower. The harder it gets, the more willpower you'll build

 

Day 157

A family event ran late, but it was enjoyable to spend time together. Haven't seen my whole family for years and to see them grown is very enjoyable.

My girl came to the event as well and I took her home. We had s in the morning. Not in the evening when we came home from the family.

Work-out: day 50
The workout was done and the dumbbell was used. Because of the high temperature, the workout was done comfortably.

Walk: day 57
After we arrived home, my girl and I did a late evening walk. No lunchwalk done

Screentime: day 57
Spent 15 minutes watching TV at my GFs place, 34 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 8 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 54
In the car back home, my girl told me I wasn't considerate of her needs. Spent time reminiscing and talking to my family and forgot to take her along and even properly introduce her.

Meditation: day 147
The day was started on a stable meditative note. Got my 15 min in asap.

PMO Study: day 157
The corruption of PMO is in everything. Not only in how we do something, but especially how we see and think about things. It takes time to rewire our brain. It doesn't happen from 1 day to the next that we're cured, but our fight lies in every day living.

Sleep: day 9
My girl pulled away my blankets all of the time (jk) but I fell asleep as a log. Woke up almost 9 hours later.

Healthy eating: day 11
The diet that will start tomorrow is a low FODMAP diet (my girl sometimes mixes up NoFap with low FODMAP and has almost told my whole family that I will start a NoFap diet coming monday). Low FODMAP is a diet that you don't do forever, but is really a diet in which you remove all things that might be able to trigger any kind of response and let your body rest a bit. After 3 or 4 weeks you slowly reintroduce foods and measure what happens and which allergies you actually have.

Cold showers: day 57
Build the willpower to withstand it

 

Day 158

My girl stayed over and we had a great lazy Sunday. We walked, talked and just had fun together. No things we had to do, but just an entire day to enjoy each other.

Work-out: day 51
A workout was done and I considered to go for a run. It unfortunately was 30 degrees Celsius, so it was far too hot for a run

Walk: day 58
My girl and I took a walk in a nearby forest. We deliberately went later, as it would be sure to cool down but it was still hot.

Screentime: day 58
Spent 45 minutes watching TV at my GFs place and it messed with my head, 31 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 14 minutes on the Internet. Not used to watching TV anymore and I felt empty after this time. During the TV time, I was completely focused on the TV, as I am when I'm watching Netflix. Scary.

Communication: day 55
We talked about everything yesterday. Sometimes I like to bring in an original question that is a conversation starter.

Meditation: day 148
Even with my girl over, I managed to do meditation early on.

PMO Study: day 158
As it is said in Your Brain On Porn, the brain of an addict needs to heal. What is different with a P Addict is that it feeds its addiction by merely thinking of P, because thinking of it gives Dopamine shots. Any other substance (like alcohol or coke) needs to be used in other for the addiction to be sustained.

Sleep: day 10
I fell asleep like a log, but slept terribly. Too hot too handle.

Healthy eating: day 12
The diet today will start off easily and will build up this week. Low FODMAP all the way!

Cold showers: day 58
With this weather, I don't mind taking cold showers. It is the idea to build the willpower to withstand it

 

Day 159

A lot of preparation had to be done for today as I have bought a new bed and will clean the carpet in my bedroom with my girl. This will make sure that the new bed is enjoyed to the fullest.

By the way I finished 'Where the crawdads sing' by Delia Owens. Was a good and enjoyable book.

Work-out: day 52
The dumbbell workout was picked up fully and an immediate change could be felt in the tension of my muscles.

Walk: day 59
Two walks were done. One at lunchtime and one before bed.

Screentime: day 59
Spent 1 hour watching Netflix, 2:16 hour on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 13 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 56
We spoke about the need for good communication. Sometimes when I'm hungry, I forget to communicate.

Meditation: day 149
Three sessions of meditation. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 159
Keeping the door closed is most important in the reboot. Make sure that you don't allow yourself any leeway. This will heal your Brain the soonest.

Sleep: day 11
It was too hot to fall asleep immediately and I spent some time tossing and turning.

Healthy eating: day 13
I started my new diet lightly and will build it up this week. Feel good

Cold showers: day 59
Keep on keeping on is the only way to go.

 

That actually isn't true -- the definition of a low FODMAP diet is to exclude fermentable carbohydrates, the point of which is to minimize bloating. It doesn't exclude all allergens nor all foods that may cause gastrointestinal issues (see Wikipedia). I can also see from the Wikipedia article that they recommend quinoa, but from my experience (and others' I know) quinoa can produce bloating similar to regular beans (probably due to its saponin content).

TL;DR: it's just one approach to try, it won't help you with all digestive issues.

 

Fast Track Diet is also a good alternative to FODMAP to reduce hard to digest carbs. Personally it helped a lot to switch from basmati to jasmin rice. The former has lots of resistant starch in it while jasmin rice is very easy digestible. FODMAP doesn't differ much between these two.

 

Useful to know! I see I need to read much more about it.

 

Day 160

New bed is installed and my girl and I already christened it by being intimate on it. I woke up with slight discomfort in my back, but perhaps I still need to get used to the new mattress.

Work-out: day 53
Before every shower, I have set out to do 10 push ups in order to get pushups into my routine. It works!

Walk: day 60
My walk before bed was lovely with the weather being cooled off.

Screentime: day 60
Spent 15 minutes watching Netflix, 57 min on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 18 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 57
During the whole cleaning, we had some moments of difficulty. We were both hot and exhausted and that doesn't bring out the best of people.

Meditation: day 150
Two sessions of meditation. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 160
I read that when you want to change your life, you need to change your behavior. When you want to get rid of your addiction, change your habits and how you do things. I started to notice that it is in small behaviors where I still exhibit addict behavior. When watching TV or Netflix, I am still very much drawn into it. This is an example of this kind of behavior.

Sleep: day 12
I have a new mattress so I was getting used to it first. My girl stayed over and she had no problems falling asleep.

Healthy eating: day 14
Because of yesterday's busy day, I was a bit easier on my diet but still ate a healthy lunch.

Cold showers: day 60
Taking cold showers had become part of my routine.

 

Day 161

My girl stayed over 2 days ago and spent yesterday here with me. She had to work so I transformed my study room to her throne room. I plugged her laptop in when she was taking a shower and made sure she had a watercooker and some tea for the day. I brought her treats and lunch and she really appreciated it. Maybe even a bit too much, as she was easily distracted and used the distraction to talk about holidays with me.

Work-out: day 54
I'm getting 20 to 25 push ups in every day because I'm doing them before my shower. I did a dumbbell routine yesterday as well, but when my routine is a bit off, this is usually the first thing that falls off.

Walk: day 61
Skipped my lunchwalk and took an evening stroll with my girl.

Screentime: day 61
Spent 40 minutes watching Netflix, 9 min on Whatsapp (chatting with my mom) and 7 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 58
We spent some time after dinner to speak things through and to rehash some difficult moments from yesterday. I notice that as soon as it becomes too much I say that I find everything getting 'too much'. That feeling goes away, but I always have the tendency to walk away from things than to face them heads on.

Meditation: day 151
Two sessions of meditation. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 161
Walking away from difficulty and not knowing how to deal with difficult moments has been one reason to succumb to PMO in the past. The behaviors stick and need tracking down. Those behaviors need to be looked at and need to be uncovered so you can start to work on it.

Sleep: day 13
Turns out that my girl had difficulty falling asleep 2 days ago because of my new bed. She slept 3 hours, but I slept a solid 8. She woke up and went downstairs at 3 AM and I didn't hear anything.

Healthy eating: day 15
Slowly implementing healthier foods into my diet. Takes a bit of discipline to make the switch.

Cold showers: day 61
The cold waters of the shower has made me stronger. Every difficult moment, every cold stream has hardened my willpower.

 

Day 162

Had a studious day yesterday, as I used the time I had to catch up on an e-learning that I'm doing. Met my girl yesterday for a long evening walk and went back.home and cooked dinner

Work-out: day 55
My dumbbell routine is growing. I try to squeeze in one more rep for every set. It's also good to see that push ups work for me and that it's easy to fit into my schedule.

Walk: day 62
Went on my lunchwalk and enjoyed the sun.

Screentime: day 62
Spent 20 minutes watching Netflix, 1:57 hour on Whatsapp (chatting with my mom) and 15 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 59
We spent some time speaking things through. I had a bit of anxiety in the supermarket and my girl saw that. She asked about it and I said that there was one moment where it occurred. She'd prefer me say it upfront.

Meditation: day 152
Two sessions of meditation. First session started, as usual, in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 162
Defensiveness is one way our brain is protecting certain things in us. It is however not so easy to stop defensiveness without bringing it inside. When it's inside, it's burning you up. It really requires introspection and outer action. Not only in PMO, but in all related behaviors in life.

Sleep: day 14
Slept like a log, but I feel tired waking up. Slept a long time, but I'm still tired.

Healthy eating: day 16
Have made the habit to skip eating sugar on some days while I'm implementing my new diet. It's a bit tough to resist sugar sometimes, as it's everywhere. I now say that I won't eat sugar on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

Cold showers: day 62
Still building on my willpower. Going well

 

Day 163

Took half a day off and spent the first half talking with business coaches. The local government supports small business and subsidizes coaching and educational programs for local start ups. Around lunchtime, I picked up my lovely girlfriend and took her to a cat cafe in the city. Didn't know what to expect, but think this is the perfect place for the crazy cat ladies. It was a nice place to sit, but all the cats were asleep.

Work-out: day 56
Did my routine and did 25 push-ups.

Walk: day 63
Skipped the lunchwalk, but am making plans to either keep doing them at 12 or to do it earlier when I have other plans at 12. Took my evening stroll.

Screentime: day 63
Spent 38 minutes watching Netflix, 2:10 hour on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 39 minutes on the Internet (looking for a romantic getaway)

Communication: day 60
We spent a lot of time talking about behavior that is done out of fear. It takes the first step to overcome the fear entirely and then it is easier to implement.

Meditation: day 153
Two sessions of meditation. First session started, as usual, in my reading room. Second session was nice and long!

PMO Study: day 163
Fear to be alone, the fear not to be liked and the sadness that come with these feelings have led me to PMO in the past. Usually many of these feelings lead us to PMO as we think it gives us a bittersweet escape. However, it doesn't. It makes things far more difficult by walking away than by facing them. I noticed the fear of having triggers on the street a few days ago when I was with my girl. I force myself to look away when people pass by so as to not be tempted, but that makes me more anxious. When I allow myself to just look without that anxiety, realizing I'm looking at a human being with hopes and dreams, all the anxiety flows away.

Sleep: day 15
Slept long, but still tired. Still getting used to the new mattress.

Healthy eating: day 17
Am more aware of my eating pattern and still making steps to implement a healthier breakfast. I want to make it easy, because I want to make this habit stick. That's why I'm not harsh upon myself when it doesn't work. I'm just finding a way that works for me, so I can stick with it.

Cold showers: day 63
It keeps on building

 

Day 164

Picked up my girl and we spent some nice time together. First at her place because she cooked delicious food for me. Later we went to my place and cooked dinner. She stayed over.

Work-out: day 57
Did my dumbbell routine, did 20 push-ups and went for a 5 km run.

Walk: day 64
My girl and I took a nice evening stroll and I noticed that I'm sore from the run.

Screentime: day 64
Spent 19 minutes watching Netflix, 46 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 46 minutes on the Internet (don't exactly know anymore why I spent so long on the internet)

Communication: day 61
We again spent time talking about behavior that is done out of fear. I reacted defensively to something and it triggered her to become more tenacious. I could let it go and I could see that my defensiveness came from undealt with anger.

Meditation: day 154
Two sessions of meditation. First session started, as usual, in my reading room. Second session was later in the evening.

PMO Study: day 164
Defensiveness is a veil that prevents me from being open. When this is experienced, there is something wrong and learning to be had. Usually defensiveness would lead to self pity and self pity would lead to PMO. Good to prevent self pity in me as much as possible.

Sleep: day 16
Slept long with my girl but still tired and I have a backache. It is said that it takes some time before you are used to a new mattress.

Healthy eating: day 18
Good that I have made a small habit. That I have decided to not eat sugar on off days. This is the basis for my new eating pattern.

Cold showers: day 64
It keeps on going and I keep on building

 

Hi,

I am joining in...
day 2

 

Day 165

My girl stayed over the day before yesterday and I brought her back home yesterday at the beginning of the afternoon. We lingered around a bit in the morning and took a nice long forest walk in the afternoon

Work-out: day 58
Did 20 pushups. Am thinking to broaden my dumbbell workout and apply my running routine more often. By the way, the running routine om Saturday was really nice: I ran for 17 minutes, walked the rest and took some minutes to still run in between the walking. I was busy for about an hour.

Walk: day 65
My girl took a forest walk in the same place where I ran the day before. I closed off my evening with a evening stroll.

Screentime: day 65
Spent 36 minutes watching Netflix, 1:09 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 23 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 62
It was lovely to spend time with my girl, but also to learn how to communicate with her in a neutral, mature way. Am reading the book 'How to win friends and influence people' from Dale Carnegie and it shows me to be a much better communicator by putting my feelings and needs second, but to really listen and be interested in the other.

Meditation: day 155
Two sessions of meditation. First session started at 3 o clock, as I skipped it in the morning. Second session was later in the evening.

PMO Study: day 165
I feel I have transformed my life completely in these 165 days of rebooting. Before I used to PMO, watch Youtube for 3 hours straight, do Netflix until late and couldn't have any kind of routine in my life. I found it impossible to read a book back then. The small steps that I have set have allowed me to build a routine in my life where PMO is not a part of and which has built habits which are supportive to my life and to the life my girl and I are building. I'm off Youtube, watch an average of 15 minutes of Netflix a day and have just finished my 9th book of the last 3 months. I eat well, I sleep well and my life is very disciplined (despite me being convinced that discipline was just not for me)

Sleep: day 17
Slept okay. Slept long hours, but woke up some times.

Healthy eating: day 19
I indulged myself in sugary candies and regretted it afterwards. I was bloated and my stomach was rumbling like it was WWII

Cold showers: day 65
I don't have feelings regarding the coolness anymore. It's a great way to build willpower in this way

 

Day 4 -- clean and free

 

Day 166

It was a job day again and I caught up on the specialization course that I'm doing. It's wearing me out a bit, as there so much info and I don't yet know where to place all that.

Work-out: day 59
Did my dumbbell routine and did 20 push ups. Trying to work in 1 minute of running every day into my schedule. Let's see how that goes.

Walk: day 66
Took my lunch walk and did my evening stroll.

Screentime: day 66
Spent 22 minutes watching Netflix, 2:51 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 16 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 63
Good to speak to my lovely girlfriend. Have started reading Out of the Doghouse and Worthy of Her Trust. It's letting me know how I can understand her better in what I had done.

Meditation: day 156
Three sessions of meditation! First session started at 7 AM.

PMO Study: day 166
When reading in Out of The Doghouse, the writer speaks of rigorous honesty and gives an example of a man who has cheated on his spouse. They go into therapy and they both agree to be rigorously honest. One day, the wife asks her man to bring out the trash. He responds that he will do so. When she comes back in the evening, he has forgotten to bring out the trash. As he is afraid that she will get angry, he does it secretly. She catches him and they break up. It is important to be rigorously honest and not about 'looking good' when doing it. This will let the wife and the relationship heal.

Sleep: day 18
Slept meh. Slept long hours, but am still tired.

Healthy eating: day 20
I was eating healthy, except for some cookies. Today I will not eat sugar again.

Cold showers: day 66
Good building up. See that I'm so much further now than 66 days ago

 

First time in 2 years that I have gone without PM for 5 days in raw!
Feeling food