Going NoFap without a girlfriend

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Eagle_Six_TR, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. Eagle_Six_TR

    Eagle_Six_TR New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 25 years old, overweight, virgin, shy man. I'm into NoFap for a week and a half, and I'm going crazy because I don't have a girlfriend. So I'm receiving little to no help. I'm getting rejected by girls 7/24, I'm like a fucking ghost to them. They don't take me serious because of my weight. I want to lose weight, but it will take a year or more to get fit. So how should I overcome all this, and stay in my NoFap path? Right now I'm bouncing like a bullet around my place , and my legs are literally burning. I'm using this energy to workout, but my body needs that long-awaited touch of a woman. (might sound like a weirdo but you know what I mean) Relationship situation in Turkey is fucking disastrous, they judge you by your weight in no time when you want to talk to them.
     
    Curry and ManHvnBnd like this.
  2. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    What I hear is a lot of limiting beliefs:

    1 you should receive the touch of a woman, long awaited

    2 you’ll need a year to lose weight

    3 relationships are judged based on physical factors

    First and foremost, regardless of your weight, there is no law stating one should receive the attention of someone else.

    Second, I believe your weight has quite a lot to do with how you see yourself and how you deal with your emotions.

    There are many overweight people that use food as a way to soothe their pain of rejection or of not feeling good enough; they’re running away from some past emotional pain.

    The same with PMO and the same with any other addiction. They are coping mechanisms for you to survive in case of prolonged stress or dangerous situations (trauma).

    So i’ll suggest you had some stuff in your past that is not resolved, likely at home. A less than caring parent, a sometimes neglectful parent. Shyness is a sign that you have anger, you cannot express your emotions in a healthy manner.

    I think you also have anxiety, because of the extra energy.

    In short, you need to relearn to feel emotions. Start by sitting alone undisturbed, doing absolutely nothing and just notice the sensations: nervousness in your finger, your leg wanting to bounce, that jolt of nervousness that passed your chest. Don’t focus on thoughts, just on sensations and emotions. Try to label each sensation as an emotion: ‘what was that? Seemed like nervouseness. When did I feel this last time or first time?’. Do this for a bit, 15-20 minutes every day. I’m hopeful you will see some changes, because you’ll be more mindful of your state and you will self correct.

    Stay positive! :)
     
    ManHvnBnd and Hros like this.
  3. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Plenty of people around here, including myself, can tell you that you don't need to be in a relationship to do Nofap. It really sounds like you need some sort of outlet. So you're overweight? Well, I'm overweight as well. I've used my reboot to start getting into shape. It's good that you're already exercising. Learn to focus on the more direct goal: getting into shape, rather than focusing on the indirect goal: meeting someone nice.
    Find other outlets as well. Try out new hobbies. See what interests you. Focus on those things.
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  4. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I am in pretty much identical situation, I also need a year or so to lose weight. And I decided that I will do this, I don't really see the other option honestly and I advice you to do the same.
     
    eoptda likes this.
  5. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    This is true. If you are bad looking rejection is more common and dating pool is much smaller. The best way to deal with it is to lose weight.
     
  6. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Shyness is a sign of lacking social skills, lots of shy people are calm individuals who just have problems with communicating with other people, that's it.
     
  7. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    At least for me it has a lot to do with how I see myself but this is because of I know how other people see me. OP feels invisible and I can tell that it sucks. It is hard to change attitude without changing ourselves or without seeing a reaction from other peoole.

    OP what is your workout? If you are busy and don't have much time for gym I would advice calisthenics. And diet is very important. Cutting carbs is most efficient. You need to eat less calories than you are burning and thats it. Half day fasting is a good practice also. And check if you don'y have any metabolic or hormonal problems that are making weight lose harder. It is not that hard really, you can do it.
     
    eoptda likes this.
  8. eoptda

    eoptda Fapstronaut

    right there you already identified (one of) the problem(s) yourself. i can recommend reading jason fung's "obesity code" (he also has multiple interviews/podcasts uploaded on yt,if you cba to read for whatever reason xd), it goes pretty deep into the subject of weight loss, so that might help (ive been applying things i learned from that book with a considerable success).
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  9. Varg

    Varg Fapstronaut

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    I lost 6 kg and made ABS in 3,5 months. You just need motivation, sport and a good diet. Nothing is impossible
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.

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