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Going for a Walk

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DayOne44, Nov 17, 2016.

  1. Nov 17, 2016 #1
    DayOne44

    DayOne44 Fapstronaut

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    The urges were so strong a little while ago that I thought I would lose my mind.

    (Stated more bluntly: Horny as hell!)

    Today will be day 20, and tomorrow, if I survive, I will have three weeks of no PMO.

    Walking up the street this afternoon after work, I was thinking about my favorite porn star.

    (Her pixels are the ones I mainly want to see. I rationalize my porn viewing by saying that I am "monogamous" in it. Somehow, that makes it seem "faithful." Because I am dedicated to this one, it seems more like a relationship I'll never have. Then, I can think I don't have an obsessive porn problem because my porn surfing isn't so crazy and wide ranging. It's more focused. I only search for this one girl's pics, but I can do that for hours. You can tell me my thinking is twisted.)

    My plan was to do my evening workout at 5:00PM.

    I cancelled that. There are too many risks between changing into my shorts, getting pumped up here in my room alone with my computer, and taking a shower.

    I've said that we must do anything not to look at porn and masturbate.

    That is easy to say when I'm at ease and giving free advice.

    Now, I must do something to live that.

    I need to get the hell out of the house.

    I'm going for a walk.

    It's getting cold outside, and that should calm me down.

    This is the time of a great test.

    It is maddening, but my hope is that I will be stronger after getting through this.

    It is worth it.

    I'm going for my walk now.

    This is my escape.

    Then, I'll make dinner.

    After that, I'm going straight to bed to sleep this off.

    You won't hear from me again tonight. I am not going to take the risk of turning my computer back on.
     
    DayOne44, Nov 17, 2016
    DayOne44, Nov 17, 2016
    #1
    Merlionno and WarriorScarr like this.
  2. Nov 17, 2016 #2
    lp123

    lp123 Fapstronaut

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    nice man! 20 days is great. keep it going. before you know it, youll be at a month.
     
    lp123, Nov 17, 2016
    lp123, Nov 17, 2016
    #2
    Islanders190 likes this.
  3. Nov 17, 2016 #3
    douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    Doing great brother - I hit my three week point today.
     
    douggie1962, Nov 17, 2016
    douggie1962, Nov 17, 2016
    #3
  4. Nov 17, 2016 #4
    Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    It's good to rationalize our emotions. Very good.
     
    Frühlingstimme, Nov 17, 2016
    Frühlingstimme, Nov 17, 2016
    #4
  5. Nov 17, 2016 #5
    Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

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    her pixels?

    I agree that it's better to stay with one porn actress because of the limitation.
    No need to mention that this "rationalizing" is against your actual will and ratio.

    Lately I use this meditation technique to defeat urges. And I think it's especially good when the urges are strong and come back no matter what you do.

    When some desire comes, consider it. then, suddenly, quit it.

    When the sutra says consider it, it means do not think for or against it, just consider the desire, what it is.

    I make good progress with this technique. But once I considered the desire too much, although it gave me back control I "tested" myself by looking at the desired pictures (then feeling even more desire ;)) and finally I was overwhelmed.
    I think my mistake was that I took too much time to "consider", as if I had to consider every aspect of the desire.

    I think the trick is to allow the feeling that the urge give us and just feel it accepting its power. Then it turns out that despite its power and persistence it's just a feeling and it can be felt, endured, quit.
     
    Jodo Kus, Nov 17, 2016
    Jodo Kus, Nov 17, 2016
    #5
    DayOne44 likes this.
  6. Nov 18, 2016 #6
    Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    Put blockers on your computer, phone, etc.. and go join a gym and workout with people around you. this has saved my life.
     
    Fork2323, Nov 18, 2016
    Fork2323, Nov 18, 2016
    #6
  7. Nov 18, 2016 #7
    DayOne44

    DayOne44 Fapstronaut

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    The miracle is that these spells will not last forever.

    The urges strike and then fade.

    We must remember this to get through these.

    You simply must do something to distract your mind and wait them out.

    PMO is not necessary to get relief.

    They will go away on their own.

    I made it through the night and the morning.

    Now, I am fine and at ease.

    If only I always felt this way.
     
    DayOne44, Nov 18, 2016
    DayOne44, Nov 18, 2016
    #7
    Jodo Kus and goldstein like this.

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