Going for 30 days

This time I am really doing it. I am going on a vacation in a few days to the middle of nowhere. I should be at 20 days already when I return. I have been having some okay streaks recently. Mostly about a week to 10 days. Been a while since I had a solid break above 30.

I have committed to 4 accountability partners. I promised to make it 30 days last time but relapsed at day 9. It wasnt anything wrong with my promise but that is just how strong the addiction is.

Before I continue I have to warn about potential triggers down the line. I will be mindful of my language but I often need to write a lot to process my emotions.

I relapsed last time because I was sunbathing with a friend of mine in the park all day. I guess she could feel the retention on me. I flirted a little with her all day. But at some point I guess she got turned on and started flirting back. I chickened out of it and that left me with a serious case of blue balls at the end of the day.

What I need to do different this time around is to be a little more careful when I hang out with women. Ideally I wont flirt with any at all. I have to sacrifice chasing girls until my mindset is strong enough to avoid relapsing in situations like these.

So this is my first serious entry into the forums in a good while. The reason is that being active on the forums have helped me getting solid streaks in the past.

Today is day 3.

 

Day 4

went to the gym today. Solid arm day. Worked out my back yesterday. It seems to have alleviated my neck pain a little. Maybe I wont need as many painkillers as I have been using recently. I blocked youtube on my phone and moved all my social media apps into a folder. That way I get reminded every time I want to use social media. So far it has been working. I dont have the same dependency on my computer.

It is a bit boring to not be able to use social media. Especially Youtube made me feel actually productive by constantly trying to find new information. It is false though. You never turn actually productive by just soaking up knowledge.I am going on a vacation tomorrow. I wont bring my computer. If I make any more entries during the next 10 days or so, it will be from my phone.