Giving this another shot

I've been on here in the past and I was off PMO for a while. However, I fell off the wagon shortly there after. Now I'm giving it another shot, and as I try and enter a serious relationship, I think it's really important for me at this stage to get back to fighting off my fapping habits. I'm motivated and optimistic yet cautious and somewhat concerned at the same time. I'm starting to delve deeper into this site to see what other resources can be sought on here to rid myself of this nasty habit.

All feedback and suggestions are welcome and I look forward to sharing my progress with this great and supportive community.

 

FYI: I'm at 1 day. My tracker refuses to reset

 

Into day 3 in this 30 day challenge. So far I'm still very motivated. No setbacks so far. I'm in the mindset where I know I can complete this challenge. I haven't faced any major temptations but I fear what's coming. Knowing how long I've been able to last in the past, I'm concerned about what'll happen once I hit the one week mark, two week mark, etc. I hope I can keep this up.

Until next time.

 

I had to reset my counter. I'm almost 6 days in and feeling good so far. I hope to continue my first week with no setbacks. Taking it one day at a time...

 

Almost a quarter of the challenge and no problems so far. I don't think I've ever gone a full week without fabbing in the last 2 years. So this is definitely a milestone for me. I'm still determined to get to the full 30 and hopefully get it completely out of my life soon.

Onwards and upwards

 

Day 8: Today was the most challenging since my last reset. I had a couple of incidents that triggered an erection. But I was quick to stop that from escalating into anything serious. I'm still completely off edging and have been off porn for just as long. Things are still looking good so far and I'm more motivated than ever to finish off this challenge.

I'm also reaching out to a really cool girl that I've liked for a little while now. Given how I've been working on getting rid of some of these bad habits, I figured this is as good time as any to start seeking a healthy, committed relationship. I'm a little anxious about the whole thing, but still feeling confident after taking the decision to improve my life for the better. I also feel comfortable enough with myself to know that if things don't go well with this girl I'll be able to handle it without any major setbacks. So here goes nothing.

Later Days..

 

Day 12: Can't believe I made it to the 12th day of my 30 day challenge. Almost half way through
The last couple of days have been a little more challenging than when I first started. I found so many things that were triggers for me and there was definitely more temptation to PMO but I didn't act on it. Still feeling resilient and looking forward to completing this challenge.

 

Halfway Point: I'm very proud to say I've made it to the 15th day of this 30 day challenge. It certainly hasn't been easy but I feel more committed than ever and I believe I can take on the second half.

An interesting thought occurred to me yesterday and I would like to share. I was basically just lying down watching some TV and I realized how I sometimes can trigger PMO by this involuntary and spontaneous touching. It's not that I'm feeling turned on and I'm trying to edge, but rather I can trigger masturbation through the most arbitrary motions. And as soon I realized that I stopped right away. Before taking on this challenge, however, I would have definitely went and M'd till O. This whole incident made me realize 2 major things about my PMO habit:

1- It is not always libido or lust that triggers PMO for me but could be a random touch or accidentally rubbing against something but it would escalate all the way to O because I didn't have the mindset or will to control it. Nor did I realize the harm of getting myself to O basically whenever I felt like it.

2- The more time I spend just sitting down doing nothing, not engaging my body or mind in something active, the more susceptible I am to PMO. Coming to this conclusion today was actually following by quite a stressful episode. I felt very vulnerable to PMOing because I was just sitting down and worrying about other things that are going on in my life and I could've definitely resorted to masturbation at that point to get my mind away from all that; after all that's what I used to do in the past. But I didn't succumb to the temptation and instead I meditated/prayed (I'm getting more in touch with my spirituality these days) and I went for a run. I can't tell you how refreshing I felt afterwards. Just felt like I had control again. So now I'm trying to spend more time being active, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Not sure if anyone actually reads this feed, but I would love to hear from fellow fapronauts about similar challenges that they've faced and how they address them. Feel free to share on here or through private messages.

Later days...

 

Yea developing new habits is key. I'm dedicating time to exercising and reading and I still try and find new things to do every day.

 

Day 23: So far so good! I've been keeping busy with work and family. I'm still keeping a routine exercise schedule, though I'll admit I cheat on my diet every now and then. Feeling good overall.

On the weekend I came across pictures I had from before I started the challenge. That almost caused a slip but I was quick to recover thankfully. I just deleted them, made sure I'm covered in terms of filters and everything and just put away my laptop and went for a walk.

In a previous post I mentioned I'm trying to talk to this girl I met recently. I finally mustered up the courage to talk her and we've been texting for a bit and she agreed to grab a drink in a few days. That honestly has been a huge motivation. To me, this challenge was primarily for myself; to improve my habits and prevent my self-indulgences. But I'm further motivated by the prospect of having a healthy relationship with someone I care about. And I'm hopeful that things with this girl work out and it progresses to that.

Later days....

 

Day 27: the 4 days since I last posted were incredibly hectic and busy. I didn't even think about PMO. I did however stick to my schedule of regular exercise. I've also stuck to my diet -for the most part- and I'm continuing on what you may call 'my spiritual journey' with prayer and some meditation as part of myself improvement process.

I also met this girl I had spoken about before. I know I keep talking about her in here, even though this forum isn't really purposed towards that. But I haven't felt strongly about establishing a connection with another person for a long time now and I do believe that we intrinsically seek that as human beings. So I do think it is relevant to my development as a person and to this challenge. Let me clarify that I'm not in a physical relationship, and even if things work out I wont for a while.

So where was I? Ah yes, I met the girl that I had mentioned I was interested in over coffee this weekend. And while I'm trying to stay grounded, things really couldn't have gone better. We got along really well, we were never bored while talking, she was super interesting, funny, and assertive. I'm a fairly introverted, shy person so I was really impressed by the way she carried herself. And I also felt that I could more easily get over my reserved nature and actually engage her in conversation. We talked for more than 3 hours and it barely felt like an hour had passed. My personal feeling is she also was pleased with how things were going, and I'm usually good at reading people so I hope I'm not wrong. I did tell her I'm going to reach out to her during the week and hopefully set something up real soon and she was down for that.

So why did I go into this much detail about this girl in my PMO challenge page? Well because working towards that end, plus work, plus other self-improvement initiatives like exercise, reading and such have really kept away from PMO completely. I am 3 days away from completing this challenge and I'm very proud of myself and what I've been able to accomplish. This will be the first time I've gone without PMO for a month in more than 5 years. and it feels refreshing and I am aiming to stay on that path for much more than just 30 days.

Later days my friends

 

Thanks for the comment cTx. I apologize for the late response as this week has been hectic. I'm glad someone is reading this and hope it's of value. Things are going well. I've been very busy at work, and my mind has been far off PMO. I'm still exercising regularly and I now added running to the mix. Nothing crazy, but I run about 4 miles every other day. I find it's a great stress reliever and keeps your mind sharp and focused.

I'm going to move up my challenge to 60 and see how things go. I'm still locked in terms of sticking this challenge and keeping away from my previous bad habits. And thankfully so far the setbacks have been minor.


I hope things are going well for you too on your challenge cTx! I know meditation doesn't come easy but I think the general idea of trying to develop some sort of spiritual path is essential. It definitely was for me in my current pursuit. It was all part of this all-encompassing journey of self-improvement.

Later days....

 

Well, here we are a month later and I am about to complete 60 days into this challenge! I can't believe I made it this far! This journey has been incredible and an eye opener. But it hasn't been without it's challenges.

Though it has been a fairly easy ride the first 40 days or so, the past couple of weeks have been rough. I have been getting a lot of unwanted erections and wandering with my thoughts. There has been some touching but limited and it doesn't go anywhere. I don't believe it qualifies as edging. I am more motivated though now that I've completed my second challenge!

I've been in a relationship for month now, but nothing physical. It's also long-distance which is not ideal but I am crazy about her so trying to make it work. I've come to realize how interest and affection for someone can make you control desires of the lower self. It certainly hasn't been easy to control that and to hold off a physical relationship, but I'm feeling very up for the challenge because of the way I feel about her.

I'm still maintaining the spiritual and health components in terms of developing. I go to the gym regularly, I've gotten back into running, and I'm praying daily. I'm also trying to be consistent with my reading as a hobby. These things have helped a lot in my PMO challenge and I want to make sure I maintain them.

I'm kicking this up to the next milestone; 90 days! feeling good and I hope this run can continue!

Later days...

 

Tying this challenge again. I've been off the wagon for a while now and I don't like the frequency of PMO in my life at all right now. So here goes nothing