Given up.

Just wanted to start this post of by saying am not looking for sympathy but just telling you my story. So I been a pmo addict since around 14 soon turning 18. To say the least I have struggled,being on nofap for about a year and a half, having been on various streaks with varying degrees of success but I can do around 2-3 months pmo free with my life looking great until I somehow get sucked back into the black hole of this addiction, out of the blue. I been on these streaks which boost my grades, social interactions, confidence but for some reason I get pulled into this vicious cycle and I don't know what to do. As I'm writing this I lost my 75 day streak and did a total binge feast(around 10 times today) not out of love of it but despair. With that I succumb to low mood which is the last thing I want as I recently got out of my depression, binge eating and a lack of drive which isn't what I want on the eve of exams. I do everything cold showers, exercise,medititate but recently with all my failures and promising that 2017 was a "pmo free year", I feel I can pick myself up but couple months from now I will fall back into the same circle. Up until now I thought this was something I could do but after another year of pmo'ing and 2018 is nearing, I feel that this is beyond me.
In short I want help but am afraid everything I do is futile in its attempt at stopping the pmo.
PS sorry for the essay.