Getting my life back on track

Hi nofap community,

I'm a 19 year old virgin who regularly watches porn. For the past couple of years I had begun to take a liking of (what I now think is perverted) hypnotic videos. I always thought that what I did in my spare time would never affect my outside life until recently.

I had become so encompassed in watching these videos and masturbating that I'd sometimes end up doing this activity twice a day every day of the week.

Recently I begun seeing a girl and things were going very good. Until last week when I realised what I had been doing in my spare time has well indeed affected me and I want out. I had the chance to partake in sexual intercourse with this girl and I noticed that when "it was about to go down" I would lose all interest and lose my erection. I was embarrassed and she thought it was all her fault (she even asked if I was gay).

We kind of brushed it off and later I realised I might have porn induced erectile dysfunction. My friend (weirdly openly) discussed about the nofap challenge to me about a month before this incident and so I begun doing some more research.

After a lot of research I could also conclude I have a sort of mild case of performance anxiety alongside of porn induced ED. It was at this moment I realised how much of an impact the porn had affected me and how low my life had spiralled down. I had stopped going gym from a sudden drop of motivation and hardly attended my kickboxing classes. In a matter of days I tried to continue back to my old habits of exercising and staying on top of my game and I started feeling pretty good. I had stopped watching porn and masturbating for about a week however i did have a couple of relapses. The girl I was seeing was persistent in trying again (after that incident I was afraid it would happen again), and so we did try it again and this time I had a stronger mental attitude towards it. Still, the same scenario played out: We enjoy foreplay, the pants come off, and the erection ceases.

It was at that moment I had decided I will do whatever I can to fix it. And I feel as though all those years of watching porn (especially the hypnotic ones) need to be forgotten and I need to move on with my life. I don't want to lose this girl over the fact that I can't satisfy her when she wants to.

This is why I'm here. I need support in my journey and I need guidance. If anyone has been in my situation, or knows more of it, feel free to let me know any tips to help me.

I know that this process may take a couple of months at the least, I just don't want to lose this girl over this and so any help in getting her to understand is also appreciatated.

I look forward to my reboot and better life

 

My usual routine when submitting to masturbation was doing it in the morning and so now I've been trying to just get straight out of bed in the mornings. Although during the day I find it more difficult, even when I have a task to complete it can sometimes be the only thing I can think about...