gay couple, nofap together

The general consensus is to go for at least 30 days wthout O. Hugging, cuddling, and kissing intimacies are good for cultivating a relationship and can be a great help in a reboot as they open our eyes and emotions to better options to PMO. I wish you both luck as you work together to grow through your reboot.

 

I have read that having sex with a partner WHILE NOT FANTASIZING helps rewire the brain to prefer real sex. Perhaps you would both be interested in Karezza which is slow sex with no orgasm. Believe me-it sounds dull but is relationship changing. As for toys-I would say stay away from them for 90 days as they could be triggering to porn.

 

NoFap is not just about what _not_ to do but what _to_ do instead as well. If I were you I would focus on building the emotional, romantic, intimate-without-going-sexual, closeness, etc. dimension of your relationship and interaction. Skip not just P but M and O as well... but develop the S-related soft, human, relationship-oriented dimension of things. In other words, I'd compensate for what you're leaving out (the longer the better until you days without PMO get into the triple digits) -- which should definitely include leaving out toys, sexually-specific sites, sexually explorative chat etc. -- by putting _in_ more of the inner and non-sexual physical stuff. That you can do all you want, guilt-free -- relying on his sense of discipline, to avoid "spilling" over into an erotic slippery slope. I'd not focus on the number of days "without", but work on the quality of the interaction instead.

Just my 2 cents.

 

I think you're both in a great place to support each other as there is no betrayal involved. You can both understand each other and your addiction. Be accountable for each other, egg each other on with inspiration in how you are helping yourselves. Go to SAA, therapy, couples therapy, etc;. Read as much as you can here.

Is your friend group helpful?

 

Check out the success stories section. A lot of the men there have guides.

 

If you're the one staying at home, all of this is harder for you and on you, too, I reckon. For you, I'd focus on building new, healthier habits that apply to you solo. Personally, I've found nature walks fantastic. Call 'm hikes if that sounds better, but exercising your body while soaking up the cosmic vibes in nature is a great way, I have found, to find your inner Chi...and build natural resistance to spiritually toxic thoughts and behavior. It may also help -- but I say this knowing nothing about your lifestyle -- to develop life style content that is not specifically tied to "gay culture," part of which could lead you astray.

Best of success!