Gay, Bi or not? Why me?

Dude you PMO at 70..? Sheesh now I’m suspicious of my grandad LOL!

 

Same boat , of course my wife found out I had messaged other guys and fantasised about performing oral sex on them, and I told her my fantasy was double vaginal penetration...it actually really turned her on! Which surprised me a lot, and she later confessed she was Bi and got with a girl when she was younger.

 

Oh yeah, it never goes away but the good news is never more than once in a day. lol

 

Messaged or messenged?.

 

Is there a difference??!

 

love is different from lust.

 

I'm afraid to be bi too since years now... (I'm 19) I love girls, no question about that and I hope to have girlfriend someday. It's even one of the main reason I started nofap, to have the balls and motivation to talk to girls and find love. But this fucking fear of being bi eats me, everyday I'm thinking about it, everyday I'm testing myself to see if I like men or not. I fapped only one time on gay porn to test myself after I had an orgasm I had a fucking panic attack and never try that again. Don't remember when and how I got this obsession, but the main reason i'm scared as hell and thinking about it everyday is because when I watch a movie/serie/anime, even reading a gay thing happening or whatever and that there is a sexual tension between two mens or just sex I feel aroused and anxiety at the same time. I told my parents about it and they said it was normal to feel aroused when you're seeing some sexual stuff hapenning sometimes plus with the hormones it was normal to feel lost. There is some days where I'm 100% sure that I'm straight but that doesn't happen often. This fear got worse when I stopped going to highschool (it's been 3 years now) and was alone with my thoughts in my house with no contact from the outside and I fapped multiple times everyday on porn since then.

And now what you might read is fucked up and I'm very ashamed of it but I think there might be a link to it or not, maybe it's not that but it will maybe make me feel better to talk about it.
When I was around 11, a friend of my brother talked about hentai we didn't know what it was so we checked together on internet and then of course it was porn... I don't know how we got there but we started watching porn and fapping together. After a few weeks of this shit (I won't go into details) we played with our dicks for two nights. After realizing the immentisity of our stupidity we directly stopped and never talked about it ever again. I hate myself so fucking much for that, If I could go back in time and erase one mistake it would be this one.

So there you have it, if someone could help me clear this up...

Edit: Another piece of info, when I started porn I used to be disgust by seeing the dick of an actor and was hiding it with my left hand but now i'm used to it.

 

If anyone needs help with sissy fetish please see a thread in my profile with a method of increasing serotonin.

 

Thanks bro makes me feel a better to hear this, I don't constantly think about it but sometimes it comes in to my mind randomly and it makes me feel bad, but I guess I shouldn't because I was a kid and it's a normal things kids do sometimes.

 

I love women but a part of me does wonder what it would be like to have a Masturbation buddy. No anal sex or penetration, just sitting back and jacking off with another dude doesn't seem so bad

I'd never get into a relationship with a man however. I desperately want one with a woman.

With that said Obviously my chosen religion is totally against that, so I'm not sure on how to reconcile that. Do I drop my faith? Give up? Try another faith?

I'm not worried about it, but at some point I need to make my mind up

 

We all got one life.
Either spend it criticising, complaining, crying, or simply ignoring..
Or just accepting yourself and move on and appreciate the better things life has to offer.