Forgiveness

In times such as these, it's especially important to remember one of the things that truly make our spirit peaceful. Personally, I've learned that forgiving others of wrong-doing against me, or maybe even wrong-doing in general, goes a long way in cleansing our minds of bitterness, anger, and resentment.

I don't practice christianity (or is it catholisism? I've never actually been too sure), but even as he was dying on the cross, Jesus said "Father, forgive these people, for they know not what they do". People often have a reason for doing what they do, saying what they say, or believing what they believe, even if it doesn't make sense to us at the time. When we take time to understand the action, we can open our minds to forgive the action.

Forgiving others doesn't only make you the "bigger man" so to speak. It's not my intention to have others indulge on such a selfish attitude. But in my experience, truly happy people have learned to put the past behind them, and tolorate the present, by forgiving and letting go.

Therefore I kindly ask the forum, not to speak any more ill-will toward the individual we know as "Cute Hipster", but to instead forgive him and let go. We are well-intentioned people; therefore we must not stoop to the level of resentment that he unfortunately entered.

 

Great post shauncote73. Friedrich Nietzsche once said "And when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks into you." Meaning when we focus on darkness, we become it. Don't let yourself become like CH by spending your energy in hating him! Instead just focus on your reboot and helping others!

That is what you would think, right? That forgiveness is weak. Was Mahatma Gandhi weak? Or Martin Luther King Jr? There are ways of being strong while forgiving. You don't have to forget. You don't have to let them walk all over you. You can stand up for your dignity and your rights while at the same time forgiving. Because in the end, violence hurts not only the victims, but the perpetrators as well. So the only way to defeat it is through love and compassion.

I'll get off my soapbox, now, haha. You can probably tell that I have strong feelings about this sort of thing.

 

You're missing the point, Immor.

I mean to use "forgiveness" as more of an internal emotion than an external one. Perhaps I wasn't clear there, so I apologize for that.

I'm not exactly saying to walk up to the people who've wronged you in some way and say "I forgive you!" I use "forgiveness" as a means to cope with something that has happened to them by accepting that it happened, that they can't change it, that it happened for a reason, and that moving on without dwelling on bitterness and hatred is truly the best policy. If we hold these extremely negative emotions in our hearts, we are doomed to show these emotions outwordly.

 

Alexander said that we should publically shame him and I am all for that. Cunt Hipster told me personally to "fuck off" and mine was the first profile he cloned a "IGY." Forgiveness is only possible with repentance and his continued actions show that he has no remorse. I am not forgiving him when he has singlehandedly dismantled several people's recovery in what they had good faith was a safe haven. He is an evil bastard. If he takes responsibility (yeah, right), I will reconsider my position on this matter.

 

Well I won't tell anyone how to live their lives. If you feel that you must shame him to be happy, then go for it I guess.

I'm not defending his actions at all. What he did was awful, and I feel terrible for the people he triggered into relapsing. I'm also saying that we don't know what this guy has gone through in his life for him to think that he had to do this. People do awful, horrible things because they feel like they MUST. How far must your brain travel in darkness when it starts to convince you to do horrible things? No one is born "evil".

 

Most people do not understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is taking a situation which we cannot control and letting go of it for our own mental health. It doesn't mean you condone a behavior. It has nothing to do with the other person. Compassion can get you to forgive faster but it is not necessary. Some can forgive CH but not have any compassion for him. Some may have both compassion and forgiveness. Anger and hatred on the other hand is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

Alexander and I see eye to eye on this point. I blame the porn spammer and I hold resentment towards him. Limeaid: you say that most people do not understand what forgiveness is. To forgive is to "cease to blame or hold resentment against". Yes, I continue to blame the porn gif guy for saturating this haven from smut with dirty, disgusting images of sex. I hold resent against him for triggering several members here to go away and search for porn and masturbate to it. That guy is an abomination!

 

I'm not trying to make assumptions.

I'm not trying to insult you.

I'm trying to explain what goes on in certain people's minds. I'm not insinuating that all minds work the same way. Obviously your mind is much better at dealing with adversity. Very few people fall into the trap of losing complete control of their minds, but it does happen.

 

...and you still want to forgive this moronic fucker? NO!

 

Good, you are a Gentleman - oh yes, and I forgive you, lol

 

Whatever, just "love" his shitty ass off this site!

 

Well to be honest, when I started this thread I didn't expect to have very many supporters. I just want to occasionally throw new ideas out there for people to think about and discuss. My position on this has not changed, but I certainly understand why people feel so vehimently otherwise.

It's a very tough concept to explain, and to understand. I mean, how can one forgive someone who's done unforgivable things? This whole situation was extremely unfortunate, to say the least. Taking this position probably makes it look like I haven't thought of the people who've relapsed, or are having trouble with their relationships because of this, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I feel awful for those people, and wish them nothing but happiness in the days ahead. But until we are able to fully understand why something happens, or why some people do what they do, it'll be tough for anyone to move past it.