For the men that have successfully quit: How and why did you do it? TIA

I’m not sure if this will help or not but I had a PMO addiction for 25 years that also manifested in chats and virtual infidelity. My wife caught me twice and this second (more recent) time really shook me up.

I read the book the Porn Myth by Matt Frad and it changed my life. I feel disgusted and ashamed for how I used to treat these poor digital prostitutes. I now have a visceral reaction when I think about using porn. If he hasn’t read the book yet, maybe try Audible. Honestly the whole industry is taking advantage of these poor girls and that has been enough for me to stop- so far. My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me and I totally it. I’m doing a reboot on hard mode to take my mind off things and try to reset my brain.

 

So I've had periods of years where I've not masturbated, currently I'm doing it about once every 2-3 months and not to porn. So I'd say it's not really an addiction for me at this stage, it certainly doesn't feel like one anyway.

The first thing is the desire to quit. Many men want to quit because they feel it is affecting them negatively on a personal level. Maybe it's inducing erectile dysfunction, or contributing to social anxiety, or whatever. There's a lot of information on this site about what porn can do to your brain and the benefits of getting off it. So maybe you need to sell him on the personal risks and benefits if saving the relationship isn't enough of a motivation.

In terms of how I quit, I sort of weaned myself off it. I was doing it like 3 times a day, I cut down to once per day, then every other day, once a week, once a month, etc. In terms of quitting specific types of porn, it might be useful for him to make a promise to himself that if he breaks and uses porn, he won't use THAT porn. He must realise all that stuff is emasculating and embarassing, there must be a level on which he is ashamed and wants to quit.

This isn't everyone's method but it's what would work for me. But you have to want to do it.