For someone I love

First of all, sorry to hear your relationship ended after 3 years. Not easy when you go through a breakup

I don't believe medicating is the answer to mental health issues. The first step should be Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Realising what triggers your behaviour and how that behaviour makes you feel. Once you know your triggers you can work on making small changes to break the negative behaviour loop. You need to look at your diet. I highly recommend a plant based diet eating whole foods. Combine this with exercise and this will start to heal your body and mind.

Also don't do it for her. Do it for yourself. Woman find us more attractive when we're self sufficient and able to do it on our own. They love it even more when we include them.

Start a counter now so you can keep track of your nofap journey. Visit the journal section and start documenting everything. When you feel an urge, write down what you're thinking and what might be making you feel that way.

Be accountable for your behaviour. Realise that fapping makes you feel anxious, depressed, rejected, low on confidence and that it negatively affects your life goals.

Last but not least. Don't be too hard on yourself

 

That's really good to hear that it's building your self-esteem and making you feel better. Anxiety is a terrible disorder and I hope you can overcome it by day 90.

 

It's a journey, and it is long. I think you've made fantastic steps, but don't try to do too much at once. Put yourself in her shoes - what would you want or expect if you were her? I think a lot of emotions are happening with you right now, and that oceanic feeling of love is definitely connected to the journey you are on. I very respectfully think you should continue seeing your therapist and discuss these things with him or her, as a rejection might trigger a bad relapse. I really hope things go well for you. You have a lot of strength!