For Single Men: Losing to Gain - The 3 Phases of Women Attraction on SR

I am approaching 3 years (January 2024) on SR and wanted to share some personal experiences to put a finer point on the whole women attraction thing, because I think too many influencers out there make it sound like an easy, overnight thing. It's not. It's a process, and it goes something like this:

In Phase 1, you lose women from your life who are currently in it. This is not a misprint. Yes, SR attracts some women. It also repels others. If you stick with it to where your core energy starts to change, plan to disconnect from women who may have been former lovers or even just good friends. These are not always lower caliber women (although they could be), but it's like they sense the energy dynamic has changed and they decide they are no longer comfortable with you. This could (and often will) take the form of them straight-up ghosting you. This happened to me with two women and it threw me for a loop until I saw other guys on long term SR sharing similar stories. What's crucial in this phase is that you not fight it or take it personally. It may feel like rejection, but think of it as protection. Your commitment to SR and the relationship(s) with these women cannot co-exist. It's not fun, but ride it out because it is setting the table for Phase 2.

In Phase 2, new women of a higher caliber come into your life. They will fit the "template" of the woman you want to attract for a relationship in terms of their personality, interests, belief system, and physical appearance. (If you haven't written down a wish list of your "ideal woman", do it. You will be amazed at who starts crossing your path if you do.) Just one catch: these women will invariably be taken -- married or in a committed relationship. But they have a very specific and valuable purpose. They are where you will get in your "reps" through low-stakes interactions that give you confidence and experience learning what works with women of the type that appeal to you. I say "low stakes" because these women will make it clear from the outset that they are claimed; but they will also make it very clear they enjoy your company through nonverbals, initiating or extending conversations, asking questions about you vs just talking about themselves, and remembering things you've told them. As long as neither of you catches feelings (THIS IS CRITICAL; you must both respect the boundaries), these interactions can be fulfilling and highly motivating; you realize that women who check your boxes really do exist and they are picking up on what you're putting out. I currently have 4 or 5 smart, sweet, sexy and feminine women in this circle -- all of whom are taken and know I have no designs on them -- and it is a lot of fun. If you have never been around women who resonate and reflect back to you the high-vibrational energy that long-term SR brings, it is exhilarating and you will never want to settle for anything less again.

Phase 3 (where I'm not yet but believe I will be and have heard from many others to be true) is where the one or ones who are "for you" show up. They may even have connections to the women you have met in Phase 2 (an unattached friend, relative, co-worker etc.), but in any event the reps you've put in with the Phase 2 ones should have you well equipped to move on the opportunity when it arrives.

Let me know thoughts on this and what phase you're in. And keep up the fight, brothers -- it is worth it.

 

Absolutely to your first point. SR is a key component of my past 3 years journey, but it has also included a host of lifestyle changes and commitments to regular hard workouts, healthy eating, cutting out alcohol and sugars (almost) completely, weekly sessions with a professional counselor, increasing the intentionality of my spiritual life, and getting free of P which I was only able to do after committing to SR and by the grace of God. SR is not the magic bullet (another thing I feel too many influencers put out there), it is the starting point and force multiplier for everything else.

As to your second point, yes I could very much see that being possible. Like I said, I haven't gotten to Phase 3... I believe that is because I still have more work to do on me and it is very likely the one or ones "for me" aren't ready yet either. But allowing the women from your past to exit sets the stage (the two who ghosted me were both women who had shown extreme signs of interest in me in past years which I didn't pursue bc I was married at the time.) If you're unable or unwilling to empty that glass filled with nasty cloudy water that's sat on your counter the last 3 weeks, there is no room for the pure fresh water to come in.

The other thing I would add as a benefit of Phase 2 is you realize there may be more variations to your "type" physically than you thought. Like maybe she's taller than you'd like but her love for humanity just shines through, or her teeth aren't perfect but she has these insights into the world that just turn your head around. P and even general media conditions us to define female "beauty" in very narrow terms but as you interact with more and higher caliber women you see there is an almost infinite combination of things can appeal to you and that makes you understand the universe of possible Phase 3 prospects, when they start showing up, who would "do it" for you is likely bigger than you may think.