Flatlined directly after slip

I stoped watching porn this year and ended up in a flatline. First one was 6 weeks.

After being out of the flatline for a few weeks I slipped, one day I PMOd twice and MOd once. The day after I was flatlined for 8 weeks.

After that I had a 95 day streak with no porn, then one day I slipped and PMOd, and the day after I watched one more time. Now I'm 35 days in my third flatline.

The second and third flatline differs in that I'm actually mentally interested in sex, I think about sex and if I see a hot woman on the street I react to it. The first flatline my interest in sex died completely.

I can have sex but my erections are unreliable, usually it goes soft when the condom is about to go on. Also it takes time to "reload" haha, I have to wait many more hours before having sex again after ejaculating.

What bothers me most here is that I end up in a long flatline after a slip, not a full relapse, a slip! A small fkn misstake! Does this happen to others? The price for slipping is just to expensive

 

Yes exactly the same, it's like being depressed. When I was out of my flatline it felt like I had super powers, I was productive at work, really social and felt that life is amazing.

Morning wood has returned but not with full erections

 

Yup it's super small during a flatline, but once I'm out of it it's always somewhat big even if I'm not aroused. This is also very interesting to me

 

I 100% agree with this!! During my second flatline I had a lot of stress in my life. I was selling a house after my divorce and was preparing to move to my new apartment. That flatline ended soon after I had moved in to my new place and I finally got some rest. When I slipped however I wasn't stressed and didn't have any anxiety. However I have some anxiety now and I think that flatline is causing it. I've dealt quite a lot with anxiety this year due to the divorce and been to therapy for it.

I am trying to find more time to just chill now, and not always be up in my phone or doing things, just rest and meditate, watch a movie or something. I think that's helpful

 

Almost 60 days and still flatlined... How is this even possible? And it's giving me quite the depression as well IT WAS SMALL SLIP! Life was good, I was in a really good place, and now I'm almost 60 days flatlined and depressed

 

Really?? That is very interesting to me, I thought it was the other way around, or someone said it was. But yeah this is my third flatline and my experience is the same as yours. Less stress in my life and still a worse and longer flatline with a way stronger depression.

I'll take your advise and be sure this is my last!! I've actually takes some measures to ensure this, like blocking P-site traffic on my router, this has been really helpful!

 

Lol I am. I'm working out, I'm seeing friends and family, I meditate, I build good habits in my everyday life. But this depression doesn't simply go away, some days I feel ok, but others I feel terrible and I need an outlet.
I write here to have an outlet, to be able to go back later and see how I've done and get help from others. I'm being very open and honest about my feelings and experiences very deliberately so that others see what's it can be like to be flatlined, and to see that it gets better over time, and to remind myself of that if I were to get here again (I've gone back many times in other journals for the same reason and it's very helpful).
So sorry, I'll keep complaining if I have to

 

What's the difference between semen retention and hard mode? Thought they both were about not ejaculating at all for a set time? I'm considering that now actually. However today was the first day in 2 month that I've felt slightly aroused without any external influences, so I think I just be on my way out of this flatline.
If not however, I'll go on not even having sex for some time.

But please elaborate a bit if you don't mind of semen retention and hard mode. The other two I know nothing about, so if you don't mind explaining those as well? Otherwise I'll Google them anyway

 

I think my flatline is finally going away, I had a spontaneous erection yesterday while chilling in my couch, not full but maybe 60%. And while practising mindful masturbation later on I had a full erection, which was mind blowing to me. Depression feels much lighter and some life energy is coming back. 60 days in lol, this feels good!! Still a little way to go but I think I'll be out of the woods soon, and then I'll stay vigilant so I don't ever fall back again

I'll let you know once I do!! I looked quickly in to tai chi, I honestly don't really understand it but might have to read up a little bit more first.

 

I'm feeling amazing at the moment. Depression is gone, it's the best!!!
Other symptoms:
- My D is constantly big, even if it's not erect and I'm not aroused
- I had sex yesterday evening, twice. I would not be able to pull that off a week ago, no way!

For some reason spontaneous erections and morning wood is still missing or very rare, would expect that at least morning wood would be the first healing symptom.

From here on I'll only updates in my journal
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-fight.353860/