Fixing What I've Broken

Continuing on from my New to NoFap introduction, I'd like to use this space to track and log my progress.

 

Today was tough for me.

Quite a few things (though actually quite minor to insignificant in retrospect) irritated me today, and I felt quite angry. Both at others, and also myself.
Last night as I was walking around town, I noticed a particularly attractive girl whose very shapely behind had my gaze a little longer than it should have, and this morning it seems the image was still fresh in my mind... It was a really nice bum.

Anyway. Coupled with my frustrations today, the moment I got home the urge to masturbate rose rather quickly, and the image of that girl was ripe for abuse. I needed to stop myself from doing something that I would undoubtedly regret.
I jumped online and Googled, "how to stop the urge to masturbate" and thank God this site came up!
I have known of this site in the past, but at that time I was not in the right frame of mind to commit, and as a result I ended up closing my account and falling back to old habits. This was over a year ago now.

I also read another post on WikiHow (of all places), and the suggestion to go and do some exercise was exactly what I needed! I have a weight set out in my garage which I regularly use, but my early obligations (which later turned out to be the cause of my frustrations) meant I had to skip my usual morning routine. The irony.
Still, I went and smashed out some sets and felt really great about it! The endorphins released, and the blood pumped away to the rest of my body, and the urges went away.

I now feel I can simply appreciate the girl's lovely derriere for what it is, and appreciate the work she undoubtedly puts in to keep it that way. I shan't let those thoughts linger any longer, though.
Had I succumb to lust and depravity, I would have dishonoured and shamed not only myself, but worse her as a human being. This is the main reason why I wish to give up watching pornography too; the degradation of another to nothing more than a sexual object. Especially if they don't know of it.

The day isn't technically over yet, but I am now confident that I have what it takes to defeat any other urges before it ends.

 

Today, as I've been reading through a few of the forums, I find my thoughts quite a bit disjointed.
Obviously people are at different stages in their journey, and each have started for their own personal reasons, but I'm kind of confused why some people are on here. Now, it's not for me to judge, and these are just my thoughts, but some advice I have read on here is just terrible.
After reading as much as I can bear today, I really worry if some of these people are more hindering and helpful. I'm sure they believe they are giving sincere advice, but from an outside perspective in light of reading the original post, I just can't see a rational linking between the questions and the answers.

Anyway.
I've spent all day indoors today, and I am procrastinating from what I should be doing. Procrastination leads to boredom, which leads to frustration with myself, which leads to the urge.
Ironically, my use of the NoFap website has helped towards building the urge to fap.

I'm done here for today. Mind needs to go elsewhere.

 

30 days!

Honestly I haven't been really using this site, but I've kept busy and have been out of the house a lot lately. I've also worked on catching myself when I start to even think about 'those' thoughts, and have forced myself to get up and get moving on to something else. It's a skill you can only learn by practising dedication, but it's a good skill to master!

 

40 day and 40 nights.

Last night, I'd lasted that long. I was very proud of my efforts.
A lot of other great things have happened in my life ever since I stopped watching porn and masturbating. This last week has been quite excellent; having gone back to Uni, was well ahead of my game, had organised my future classes, arranged interviews for my upcoming internships, and really felt fantastic!

Looking back at where I was, and then to where I've come, I felt like I've made excellent progress!
I was thinking long and hard about what my views were. I found that I was making much clearer decisions and was making choices for the right reasons.

Last night was no exception.
I decided to reward myself.

I have no moral issues with watching porn purely for entertainment sake. I certainly have no qualms with masturbation.
Last night, I sat down, I opened up my browser and found a single 20 minute clip I really liked the look of, and watched it. I tilted back in my chair and just enjoyed myself in the moment. It was the best experience masturbating I think I've ever had in my life. Ever!

Afterwards, I felt no guilt. I felt no shame. No remorse. No negative thoughts or feelings at all.
I had done a good thing, and the right thing.

I have no regrets.

So, in light of this, I am re-shifting my perspective.
I won't say those 40 days and 40 nights were easy, but I now know I can do them.
This is now my goal again.

Going 40 days and 40 nights of abstinence is well worth the life I live in between, and for the reward I received for my efforts. This is a great and noble goal, I think.

I'm resetting my counter today, and I look forward to this continued good and healthy life I am now living.