Hi everyone, This as much a hello and an introduction as anything else! I'm a 33-year-old male who discovered porn way too early and has been impacted by it ever since. I think my first run in with erotica was actually not through online porn but through a VHS film. I can't remember how old I was but I think I must have been around 10 or 11 when I found it among my parents' VHS collection (yup it was that long ago) and watched it not really knowing what it was but quickly finding myself aroused by the sex scenes in it. I think my hetrosexual male mind found the girl on girl scene particularly stimulating as much of my porn use ever since has focused almost entirely on lesbian porn. Once the internet made its way into our house my addiction truly began, starting first with slow downloads and images on dial up before progressing onto regular streaming of porn videos once broadband became a thing. Alongside porn use I've also been heavily into erotic writing. I've always enjoyed and been good at writing but now my addiction has warped it to the point where most of my writing is on erotic forums. Sometimes I write male hetrosexual characters and sometimes I write female lesbian characters, but the stimulation of being able to roleplay sexual fantasies in this way has been just as addictive as porn use. I feel no small amount of shame talking about this but I know that here at least I'm among people who will understand. I was never popular in school and was bullied both there and at home. Porn offered an escape and a way to relieve anxiety. In my mind I believed it to be a suitable substitute for not being popular with girls but looking back I began masturbating too early and certainly began consuming erotic media way too early. Now finally I realise the impact this has had on me. I have a loving girlfriend who would do anything for me and truly cares about me with all her heart. She understands my problem and is supportive of it, and her support has helped motivate me to start this journey. Like many porn addicts my desire for sex with a real woman has gradually waned and I'm experiencing erectile dysfunction which has had a massive impact on my self-esteem. I know the journey to recovery won't be easy and there will likely be setbacks but with the help of this great community I've no doubt I can achieve it!
