Can't believe I joined this site, but I'm excited about doing something different in an attempt to quit porn. I'm 41 years old and am married to a beautiful wife but I've been masturbating in secret our whole relationship. I don't have ED problems but I do have trouble when we are intimate because I think of porn while we have sex. I've tried to quit over and over but I keep failing. The longest I've gone is 30 days, but then o find myself right back at it. I look at porn, masturbate, call phone sex lines, and chat online about my wife and share pictures of her or attractive friends from Facebook. I want to stop because PM definitely alters how I think and view other people. I also hate hiding this secret and want to be free. Hoping to find resources and strategies here. Thanks!
Many things there I identify with. It can seem like there is no way out and going back over and over can seem heartbreaking and how will this ever end. How much have you shared with her. How much does she know already? You will find great resources on here but it has to stop and a conscious choice made to leave it alone. See the harm it is doing and see and believe in the fact there is a better life without it but you won't experience that unless you stop. That is the paradox.
Thanks for the response. She knows very little. She called me out on porn use before we were married and she was very hurt when I told her I watched porn. I think her taking it so hard makes me hesitant to open up to her about my secret struggle. We've been married 5 years. It's amazing how much more distant I feel to my family after I've faltered. This weekend has been a struggle. Wife was out of town and failed big time. Today was a good day though...I had the day off and kept myself busy all day despite urges.
