first 60 days! Feel good, but I was imagine the golden pot at the end of the rainbow!

Here I am after 60 days!

I have changed a lot in the past 60 days, I have to admit...
Sometimes the anniversaries are very good because otherwise, you can't realize how much you have done without spending some time looking back!
I have only one goal in my mind: healing from PIED, All other considerations secondary.
That my journey here is not to take distance from porn, or cruising, or masturbation, but to understand which of these behaviors caused my PE or PIED.
For sure avoiding compulsive masturbation with porn, is now out of my normal routine as it has been for the past 40 years, and to be honest is a good thing but not a miracle that will change your life.
I personally think that porn is bad, but it's just a small part of a much bigger problem an individual could have.
Staying away from it makes me more productive, and more in the present moment but didn't really change much in my life. But I have the feeling that this emotion is momentary and it will improve....was the same when I quit smoking 20 years ago, I was thinking that I would become the new Steve Jobs after quitting smoking and then after a couple of months I was upset finding my self not much better as a no-smoker than to be a smoker, but after many years I am super happy to be able to stop smoking and I profoundly find miserable everybody that smoke for the bad they do to themselves and to the others.
Quitting the compulsive use of porn worth the pain as for all the other compulsive behaviors, but don't expect a proportional improvement in your life if you don't fix all the other things that underlying bring you to compulsive use of porn, I am sure that compulsive use of porn it's only a symptom of an underlying problem.
Let's see the improvements first:
1) Morning woods are back...almost every morning
2) I have a more intensive sexual life with my wife and also the quality improved dramatically
3) I have more time to spend with my family and I am more involved in the family activities that before I was avoiding to stay alone and PMO

what I did in the past 60 days

1) I had sex with my wife 5-6 times (Usually in 60 days was only 1 or max 2 times)..all of these times with an 80% lasting erection
2) I met with guys 4 times for oral and masturbation sessions (50%-70% erection weak erection)
3) 3 masturbations without any external stimulus
4) 2 masturbations with porn

So what I get out from this:

1) My older passion for gay sex it's slowly fading away, but still the taboo plays a huge arousing role I have the feeling that becoming less and less relevant for me and more of a routine that is a real need
2) The sex with my wife is still a plan B for me for the lack of novelty and taboo.
This is a discovery that explains my frustration with the lack of results of my healing journey, what do I mean: the main reason I started this journey was to get my sexual life with my wife back, but 20 years into the relationship it's part of the problem that brought me to use porn as a main tool for my sexual needs.
Now that porn is not anymore in my life as it was before I need a long strike without O in order to have the urge to have sex with my wife, but I tend to search first for more intriguing situations before getting to my wife...this is very frustrating and my hope is that this will be fixed down the road maybe an after 100-150 days in the journey..let's see
3) I like to masturbate by simply loving myself and my body. This is the first biggest improvement after quitting porn, you will find yourself more attractive and sexier than ever, and subconsciously you will irradiate this to other people. For example, yesterday I PMO (a 10-minute session) and I am feeling less attractive and more repulsive since then.. I am not exaggerating, the feeling of being shitty is as real as the feeling of greatness when you don't use porn...it's unexplainable but it is what it is.
4) I use porn or meet with guys "Only" because I am bored, boredom plays a huge role in these addictions, this is the biggest revelation after 60 days, as soon as you find yourself doing nothing your brain is set to bring you back to these old behaviors, also the routine pay a huge role: I used to masturbate in the morning between 10 AM and 11 AM and still nowadays at the same time I have the impulse to PMO.