Honestly not so well RN but I'm taking to a counsellor. She's amazing and has been helping me rebuild myself. My father criticized me a lot growing up so I've always had a very low self-esteem and because of my gentleness, society has always mistreated me. I could only find comfort in cuckold porn by eroticizing my inadequacies but obviously that has never worked for anyone. Also mate there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a foot fetish. ^ This is a representation of different parts in your brain (sensory and motor). Notice how close the feet and genitals are to each other. Sometimes are minds (intrinsically) connects the two cause the feet to arouse us. Foot fetish is the most common fetish worldwide. Its not even harmful but femdom is some sick shit. It will eat you up from inside.
There's a book called How to quit porn by celibate yogi, its 55 pages long and the author promises you that if you read it you will quit porn, there's still a thought pattern in your mind that supports the idea of turning on some porn that's why you struggle to quit even when you consciously make the decision to quit. The book I read will tell the reasons why your mind feels so reliant to watch porn, I've read it myself and you can read my story about how I quit porn since june 2022 on my profile. The book called How to quit porn by celibate yogi was on Zlibrary where you can download free books, but I have downloaded it before Zlibrary was taken down, if you're interested about this book it takes an hour to read, and I promise it will literally change the way you see,think about porn and will help you not just "control" your urges with willpower, distractions, inspirational videos but understand it and know that the urges you feel are just lies, lies to make you relapse and feel terrible with anxiety, low motivation, etc.. just dm me and I can send it to you privately, i dont know if I can send it here i dont want to break any rules but if someone can tell me please let me know
Hope your journey going well brother, My father mostly lived out of the state for job purposes he just came for 5,6 days in 1 or 2 month. I live with my mom and grandmother. But the thing is, I was quite good in my school passed out as a topper everyone appreciate me, my teachers, my family. I had foot fetish from my childhood and i im okay with it, i get good amt of attention from girls in my college years. It's like everything going on right. After I passed out from college there's a good amt of burden on me ( as everyone expect good from a boy who's good in studies right). There's 3 things which bothers me right now.....i can manage all but still somehow they trigger my insecurity and low self esteem. 1 - My career related things, and i think it's a common thing for all teenagers at this age. My father didn't have a stable job, finance problem for family is there. And obviously they expect from me to build a good career and support family. 2 - About my height as im 5.5 still manage to get girls though maybe lookwise I'm good enough. I'm from India so height is still not as important factor for girls like relatively to countries like usa. But still it triggers my insecurity sometimes, but now I starting to accept that thing quite a bit. 3 - All this somewhere triggers my insecurities and low self esteem. Which I think main reason for fapping to femdom porn. But I'm on my journey brother, i know I'm strong enough to fight all this shit and comeback stronger for me and for my loved ones.
Thanks brother, i read it fully, it definately adds enough value and a very right perspective to see all this sh**. I definitely recommend everyone to give it a go. Really like the idea of how author target your very own beliefs (which is root of all this) instead of mere mainstream approach.
I just read another guy post in which he mentioned he nofap for approx 2 year still get no results of overcoming femdom desires. I get demotivated and fapped after 12 clean days. Definitely not feeling well now
It’s kind of like the smokers that still crave cigarettes I guess they feel they’re still missing something and haven’t mentally dealt with what drives it. I guess you’re always going to find a model in PVC attractive. But doing an act from a place where you feel you deserve abusing is what needs dealing with maybe im still early days.
I get that though when you speak to the nuts from SAA. Who tell me I’m at the start of recovery (even though I’m 7 years in.) and I have to except I’ll always crave it and it can’t be beaten. Some strange reason they apply this theory to weed, alcohol and Narcotics. And I do t crave them at all anymore. But yea it’s very demotivating and easy to think what’s the point then. “You’re at the start of a program which doesn’t work and have to except you’re powerless. But I’m above you in powerlessness!” Ok kiddy fiddler you’re in control of being powerlessness. F ing freaks
The book mentioned above is really helpful so far. I used the Easy way to stop smoking about 15 years ago and don’t have need to be bothered about. If you tell your subconscious something and believe it. You are or aren’t going to beat addiction. Just learn from your little slip and up your lifestyle, experience and knowledge. No point giving yourself any crap at all or the femdom will seem appealing
Hey man I watched sissy porn, and what I've come to realize is that simply abstaining is going to make the effects of porn use go away, but a lot of rewiring takes place when you have real sex. Think about it - some of the last things you were reinforcing sexually were the femdom shit. Now that's not to say that abstinence is not important. You've got to do that for a while so that your brain can recover to the point where you can actually have sex. Whether that be a physical problem or a mental one.
Yeah brother, i think it's a choice, it's a habit, its a lifestyle, which we have to choose, we choose how we live although this is deep embedded in our mind but that doesn't mean we have to give all to it. Definately it's there but one can achieve a level where he can decide what he wants to do and what not through dedication and discipline. Thats why I believe in nofap.
Yeah, Recovery and rewiring takes time, but the good thing is, it's possible. And doing real sex is something which can be done, if possible. It help our brain to actually taste some pleasure the other way around. And with abstaining ( from femdom) it's definitely going to help in rewiring the neurons plus recovery at the same time.
Yea I think Nofap is a lot better than that sex addicts anonymous and a broader range of knowledge. I’m just at a point of setting sexual rules, any wisdom here would be great. I tried completely abstaining a while ago attempts that made lots of month stints and a couple of 50 dayers. But when I relapsed I was going in hard and because I felt I’d “Failed” femdom Ts or anything degrading leant itself to punish me. I started work with a great psychologist and she is working on my confidence issues. And said im a grown man and to make my own rules. If it made me or others feel bad to not participate in that’s style.While I was trying to beat this horrible habit old mates started taking the piss and abusing the me. I thought just concentrate on the addiction. But then my egos been bruised from not sticking up for myself. So when I build up a week or 2 of testosterone. I start getting angry and want to beat the shit out of them. Then I decided it’s not an option but end up relapsing because of all of the stress. Round and round I go. If I try and healthily masterbate. I feel a bit drained and spineless. To much of a good thing seems to end up negative. Paid massages can be ok at times and not lead to anything kinky but serve a way of letting off sexual tension. But maybe my addict is just kidding me. I’m on a dating site now so maybe just allow legit sex, no porn, no mo, or escorts at all. I found a guy on YouTube called Dr Patrick Carnes ( he looks a bit corporate psycho but I’m always paranoid after a relapse, he mentions sex addicts and adhd people suffer from lack of oxytocin in the prefrontal cortex. (The love chemical) I searched for natural oxytocin release and came across this: Yoga Music Massage Talking Friends Meditation Listening Food Sex Hugging Kindness Dogs Takeaway. I do feel I really crave massages even if I’m not horny, maybe because I’ve done it that much, I know loads of people who’ve never had one. I do a lot of sport so it’s nice to feel loose but human connection and relaxing atmosphere and music, warm oil. Does feel like a soothing place to go. But the extras actually leave me feeling pretty depleted and a sado tbh
This seems to help with resetting the brain a bit. Micro dose every 3 days with psychotherapy. Also Dm…What ever it’s called snapped me out of a submissive session I was going to book.
foot fetish - then femdom - then those dominating women forcing their slaves to suck cock, this is my escalation journey. Before, sucking a cock didn't arouse me at all, but now it does. I'm quite worried now what's happening to me and where I'm going....
