Feeling sad and horny because of thinking about the sexual immorality of women who work in porn

I strongly agree with you. There's too much hypocrisy when it comes to porn and lewd behaviour in general. The same people that criticizes sexually-related content are the same that cheat their partners and consume pornographic pics / vids on the internet. Our society is full of hypocrits.
And yes, porn actors / actresses want money, first and foremost. There's no space for ethical values or critical thinking here.

 

Honestly i see that all of these things are happening because men were letting it happening. If the internet was available at the middle age, probably would be women, and men aswell, selling them bodies for money and status. Let's remind that prostitution is an old job and that even we have saints (if you are religious) that were living on hedonism and converted themselves.

I understand your words and the feeling you are transmitting when you say "women who work in porn or share nude pics". Unfortunately, nowadays pornography and hedonism are leading the way of us to think and act and you can clearly notice in medias like movies, tv series and music. Honestly, i think is not so productive we come here and keep pointing the fingers towards them and trying to expose how immoral or qrong they are, because hypocrisy is rooted in human nature and we were hypocrits at any moment(s) of our lives.

Pornography will never be banned because is as old as the stone age and human beings will try new ways to product it (no matter how sad or absurd it sounds, if you study carefully about this topic you will see always is found a new way to produce), then i guess the best thing to do is to ban this from our lives.

 

I've gone down these rabbit holes of thinking until I realized that being frustrated at the state of the world is unproductive. I understand how you feel, but at the end of the day, what can you do about it?

It brings to mind a quote from Mark Cuban:
"The Only thing you can control is your effort"

So, what will you do about this? Will you contribute to this by viewing pornographic images and videos, as we all have fell victim to at one point, or will you refuse to be a cog in this wicked system and live a life of excellence.
These people make choices, and will pay for them. Likewise, so will we.

So, the world sucks, but what will our own efforts look like?

 

This is all we can do indeed. “I can do nothing for you but work on myself and you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!”

 

I have felt this way, yes, and sometimes it still rears its head when I see a woman on the street or on TV that is obviously attractive sexually but who, I can see, does not respect herself. I don't go to bars anymore but it happens there as well, especially when men and women are there in order to find a mate; they're there 'in order to' hook up. I would find myself feeling drawn to the reckless abandon, the hole in my heart that tends toward self-sabotage and self-hatred, the dark "fuck it" of my soul. This is where the lust comes from, and from the feeling of my own inadequacy. The feeling that I need to prove myself or take part in the same thing that everyone else is doing so that I can share in their evil glory, which is really just ignorance and boredom disguising itself as pleasure and freedom. Some of these women exude a confidence, or some of them simply have physical "needs" aflame that they want to extinguish. Come to think of it, I've even been jealous of my friends, who I know are getting laid. One time, in the apartment next door to mine I could hear my neighbor having sex and it was extremely triggering, I was going mad; and I thought of the young woman who came over, who willingly gave herself to that. Part of where my addiction comes from is the desire to go to that place of connection where someone else, a girl, is just as excited as I am about experiencing the same sexual thing. An addict can drive himself crazy with these pornographic thoughts by obsessing over the fact that women are sexual beings and want to act out in the same ways that men do. This thought, of course, is over generalized and can be fuel for the objectification of women everywhere in every situation, walking on the street or standing behind a cash register (or going to church!) This raises questions about "what is" a healthy sexual life. But anyway. And yes, the pity comes in because frankly these girls who give themselves over to that are ... misguided, lost, ignorant, duped, used, or they know that they're in a shitty situation and they're more to be pitied because they're hurting and they are using sex to numb some trauma, many times sexual abuse or the trauma of their family of origin. Some of these women in porn (not all) or the girl next door (not all) don't actually know what love is or have experienced the love of a family or a real community of people or the healing touch of God. I had to cool my passions with the thought of pity for the girl in the apartment next door, and console myself with the thought that I am in a relationship with a girl who knows something much better; and probably the sex wasn't that great anyway, more's the pity. I also have to think of my identity as a man, and to consider other women to be "my sister" (in Christ, to me) but even if not, consider that this person is someone's daughter, someone's mother or sister; that I have the responsibility as a man to treat women with respect, that they have personal and psychological and emotional and intellectual talents, not just pure sexual needs. And that the man they deserve anyway is not me, there is someone else out there who can take care of them far better than I can. And at any rate I have a person that I am committed to, and I have to fight the temptation that there is someone else besides her who is possible. (I'm happy in the relationship that I am in, these are passing moments, and I return to the truth.) But in these weaker moments, this is the conflict between the rational and irrational. So, yes, if this is what you mean, I do understand the weird mixture between lusting after a girl and also pitying her. At the end of the day, there is a person behind those eyes, we are all acting out of some place in our minds and hearts, that grew up from a certain parentage, and from certain experiences, and we are all doing what we do somehow to cope; and I would also agree with the person who suggested the bottom line, which is, "What are you gonna do about?" How am I going to respond? I'll stay aware, I'll remain vigilant, I'll continue naming the issues that I have inside; and identifying the movements of my soul, I'm protective of my heart, of my eyes; I'll stay vulnerable and open to the people who help me to heal and connect; I'll continue to learn about the right ways of loving; I'll continue to cultivate respect of soul toward women; I'll choose things that lead to maturity as a man, as one who is at the service of life. And as often as I encounter others who are dealing with the same issues, I'll take the opportunity to listen to their view, to share my view, and walk with them to the best that I can, if it's a short conversation or if it's an ongoing relationship that I have. So, those are my choices today, one day at a time, and frankly I don't really have any other choice; it's hard to do but living with addiction and dysfunction is harder, and fuuuck that. Not today, Satan.

 

I personally don't have an issue with nudity if it's done in the right way. I'm not going to go into all that because it's kind of irrelevant here. I personally do not look at nude pictures because it would trigger my addiction etc. but I don't find anything morally wrong with that if it follows certain guidelines (women not being forced into it etc). However, there's a difference between a photo shoot and x rated material. In porn, the women are abused, mistreated, and exploited in one way or another and for the most part, their lives are ruined. There might be some exceptions but those are few and far between. I write this because I think it's an important distinction. Glorified prostitution, concealed rape, sexual violence, ABUSE is VASTLY different than a woman posing or sexual expression. There is a danger in this discussion because of the hypocrisy that's permeating the culture. You get these so called "feminists" who defend certain types of pornography as freedom or some bullshit. Porn industry pulls the same nonsense to sell their agenda. It's also more taboo to publicly criticize porn than it is to use it in secret. Normalized and socially acceptable to use it but not call it out. THAT is pure INSANITY. Plus if you do call it out, you get labeled as super religious and all these crazy assumptions are made. So convoluted. Grateful there's a platform like this with such a big following where we can tell it like it is.

 

I feel like this sometimes. Looking at porn is going against my values so I feel this conflict. After looking at it I often find myself wondering what on earth was I doing and why was I turned on by it.

Our upbringing, our education and our life experiences shape us into the people we become. The reality is some people have had a completely different upbringing to you and think porn is normal. Some live in completely secular societies where chastity isn't even thought about let alone being important. Some are rebelling from their conservative upbringing and in some cases the rebellion by the hypocrisy they witnessed while growing up. There's no one-size-fit and women do this for a variety of reasons.

I hope not. Banning all porn and sex scenes is a slippery slope I don't want to go down. It tends to lead to greater restrictions. And how far do you want to take this? Would you ban David of Michelangelo because the statue is nude? Would you ban the Song of Solomon because of all the sex references in it? Like I said this is a slippery slope.

 

Pray for the rapture my man.

 

Many women who participate of their own free will in the world of pornography may not think about the great problem that is currently occurring in humanity with the increase in the consumption of these platforms and videos. This is annoying to know that they prefer to put into First of all, their lust and having sexual relations frequently since very few of these women experience the regret and sadness of living in an addiction like this and like that of pornography. They have no dignity

 

Why are you singling out women?
What about the men that do sex trafficking, rape, abuse in the industry?
What about the men that give the women money and gifts to manipulate them?
What about the men that literally groom 17 and 18 year olds by boosting their self-esteem, telling them the job is non-nude modeling, etc?
What about the men that get these women addicted to drugs, give them STDs, and leave them to die?

Id spend more time questioning the morality of the men (or lack thereof). Its literally an industry catered to them...

 

youre not making any sense. Women are > 50% of the entire human race, you cannot just stereotype more than half the people on earth as "gentle." Rape and coercion is WHY they don't or can't "stay away." Literally some of these women are going hungry / homeless and don't have any choice. Many are abused as children and all are LIED to.

I suggest judging victims less, and looking more into yourself and why you rationalize their abuse at the hands of men.

 

I think the solution to your problem is to simply not think about these type of things... problem solved!

And I say this comment with kindness.. I'm not trying to be a jerk or a smart*** or anything.. I'm truly not. If we take time each day to think about the immoral actions of members of the human race, then we will for sure be miserable

 

About 0.02% might work for the "fame and pleasure of sex."
- what fame? People call you are whore and a slut and make fun of you. Creeps come on to you, you are driven out of regular jobs.
- what pleasure of sex? Porn is highly produced and most of the actors / actresses are on heavy drugs to numb the pain. The "smiling" is acting. You should watch some interviews with ex porn stars. They all say this, it's not fun at all. It's a paycheck.

No one wakes up one day wanting to be in porn. They are driven there by circumstances. It's not about a "right" to the activity or not - men are abusing them and you are downplaying that, or so it would seem.

MOST women in porn where victims of child abuse by men (fathers, uncles, brothers). MOST women in porn go into it because of financial troubles and lack of other options, being lied to, sex trafficked etc. it is MEN who abuse women to make this industry. Men created it for themselves. Stop blaming the victims who suffer these horrible crimes please, they suffer enough already...

 

Well I disagree. Let's look at Iran as an example. Were the women protesting wearing the hijab calm? I think not. The whole attitude towards women wearing the hijab in Iran is ridiculous because it's not good enough to wear one - you have to wear it in a way that pleases the modesty police. Mahsa Amini should have never been killed, if fact she shouldn't have arrested.

As for sexual infidelity, I don't know if they have a problem. I know some people from Iran are members of this site. They seem to have a problem with violence against women which is just as bad as infidelity if not worse. I don't think there's anything with masturbation if done in moderation.

But do we have free will? I don't think we do.

 

While I dont disagree with the sentiments here, I want to say a word of caution singling out countries here. If you're in a western country, it really is the pot calling the kettle black. The amount of horrific violence and sex trafficking from USA porn companies and western countries in general, is truly massive. Pornhub was caught doing it multiple times and theyre one of the "better ones." I'm not gonna say details, but some of the most horrific shit on the internet is hosted in USA.

I dont agree with morality police or a lot of things other countries do. But I think we should be careful who we point the finger at. Personally, I prefer to focus on the problems in my country first.

 

I only brought it up because it was said that countries that limit freedoms are better. In the West we have our own problems but I don't think limiting people's freedom would make these problems go away. Seems like King110 wants all sex references in the arts (even Song of Solomon and David of Michelangelo) to be banned, which is absurd. People should be free to make their own choices.