Feel so alone after I relapsed at day 50.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by LoyalKnight, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    All of my hopes are gone, 50 days without PMOing, and this just lost to 30 seconds. It was not even sperm, it was "precum", which does not make things better though.

    I cannot believe myself. It felt like a bad dream. I really wanted it to be just piss. But since I am in hard mode, even the edging would be a reset.

    I, again, cannot believe myself. Such a shame. I feel like I've thrown out everything from the window.

    I feel alone, sad, and without all the power and motivation to continue. But I will. Whatever the price may be.

    If you have something to say, I'd really apperciate it.
  2. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

    First of all, you have to congratulate yourself on the 50 days. Put it this way - you've PMO'd once in the past two months... That's 6-7 times a year. Pretty crazy when you compare it to a daily PMO routine, right?

    Second of all, the feelings of shame come on fixating on your streak. Your streak should be secondary; if you are making progress (whether that be new hobbies, less procrastination, more social) it doesn't matter if you achieved it on Day 7 or Day 356.

    If you are keeping up with your new habits - exercise, diet, reading (or whichever you picked up) - then you've got nothing to worry about.
  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    You know you gained more then you have lost in these 50 days and you know there is much to gain. Keep gaining.
    stephanD and NickValentine like this.
  4. NickValentine

    NickValentine Fapstronaut

    You didn't relapse. You slipped. If you've returned to PMOing like you used to, then that's a relapse. If you only did it this one time, you slipped. Slipping is quite normal, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

    50 days of sobriety is a good milestone. Make it a goal to surpass that.

    Lastly, just pick yourself up and get back in the saddle. Your goal is to quit PMOing, correct? So, as long as you reach your goal, why does it matter how and when you reach it?
  5. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

    I'm confused "precum" is involuntary it happens naturally. If you didn't make it happen how is that a relapse? Did you make it happen?Did you PMO? I feel your pain and will support you.
  6. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    I slipped, yea. The first days had some strong urges, I did resist them all though. I shall stay clean , and I shall overpass these 50 days!

    Also, the precum came when I was watching *Triggering Material* (won't name it since it may trigger some). I watched it for 30 seconds on YouTube, then it came, unexpected. I even did not touch my penis. It just came out.
  7. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

    Sorry that happened man. We fall down but we get up. Sending you strenght
  8. Feeling alone is very very normal in your situation. You are a real warrior though, and I believe in you. How are you now? Please, feel free to share.
  9. Ibnmorales

    Ibnmorales Fapstronaut

    yeah 50 days is something tog be proud of... i envy you for reach those 50 days , but you slipped up like you said nothing to worry about dust it off and like someone stated above look at passing those 50 days as your motivation.
  10. lordram17

    lordram17 Fapstronaut

    Ok, thats definitely not counted as a relapse. You didnt orgasm. You'll get precum when you see something arousing. Thats fine, thats not masturbation. Thats just a signal to you that you need to stop whatever you are watching. You didnt relapse. Keep going strong. Avoid triggers in the future as much as you can.
    LoyalKnight likes this.
  11. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your responds!

    I feel better now - just the first days after the relapse were horrific. I got motivation now again, and willpower to continue. Still get some strong urges sometimes, but that is the chaser-effect. Nothing to do about it.

    Hard to believe how hard we are fighting against this.........

    I did not. Thanks a lot for the response man! It was nevertheless a dopamine boost (I got aroused, dopamine flushed through my body and I lost some sperm within the precum) therefore I will view it as one. I shall not care about the days, I shall care about the progress. Certainly, I shall avoid such triggers. Hard to believe though that that video made me precum so quick....

    We shall fight, until the bitter end!
    stephanD and the promise like this.

Share This Page