Feel Abandoned

Just a few weeks ago this girl I was dating ended it with me after about 4-5 months of dating.

We met on Hinge, it started off really well. Took her on a coffee date, she wanted to get drinks the same night. So we did, made it back to her place, made love. The second date though, she mentioned that she was afraid of when she would push me away. I wish I caught onto that, I did not think anything of it though.

Next few months were amazing. I even travelled across the world and we stayed in contact. The sex was amazing, we laughed a lot together, went on dates. She even invited me to New York for her bros bday. I couldn't go, but I still thought it was interesting that she invited me. It seemed like we would be together for a long time.

Then, she went to the lake with her family and friends, invited me initially, then said she didn't want to neglect her friends by bringing a guy. I was understanding, didn't want to rush things. She came back and told me she didn't have the capacity for a relationship. I was very confused, thought everything was going well. She asked for some space, and I gave it to her. A few days later, she hit me with the "I miss you" text. We were back on, but not like before.

She would be hot and cold after that, calling me babe one day, then being cold the next. Her communication patterns were inconsistent, so I started getting in my head. I tried to communicate this to her, and I got push back. She was not very comforting with her words.

We would still have sex, it was still great, but it became inconsistent as well. We had a few days where we would get food and watch a movie together. One day though, she came over for food and movies, and ended up leaving to unlock her roommate's door since she lost her key. She was gone for 2 hours. I don't think she was doing anything shady, but she did not respect my time and did not commit to the plan we made together. She came back, but I was pretty upset and out of the mood for sex at that point. We tried in the morning, but I was in my head so could not perform like before.

The next time I saw her she came and hung out with me and my buddies at the beach. It was fun, but something was off. I was in a high anxiety state at this point, and anytime after that, if I tried to talk to her about stuff, it was not a very pleasant convo.

We got into an argument one day on the phone, and she said she needed a break. I was so confused and irritated. Why did we need a break? I could not understand. She was so confusing with asking for it too. Saying we needed a break, but I could text her if I needed anything.

I gave her the break, and finally was fed up with it. I let her know how I felt, and that I needed to give her her stuff back. We met up at the beach, and she broke my heart. Telling me things that I did wrong. I owned up to the things I said which were unfair to her, and tried my best to fix it, but she made her decision. She wanted out. We left on that, but not before she said "I know we could have eventually figured it out" and giving me a super long hug.

After that, I initiated the No Contact Rule. I even unfollowed her on Insta. This all hurt so much, but I was spiraling and needed to get over her. I expected her to unfollow me, but she has not yet. She still views my stories and such. I don't know, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Did she mean any of the things she said? "I can see myself with you for a long time" "I think this will be best for the future" "Maybe we can revisit this in 6 months" "I'm in love with you"

So much confusion, after almost 3 weeks or so I still feel like shit about it. I really cared about this girl. I have never orgasmed at the same time as a partner, she was the first. Maybe my brain chemistry is messing with me. I still miss her so much, even thought the last few months were not as pleasant as the first. I feel like she is going to come back, I know I treated her well, minus the few communication errors I made with her. Maybe that is just me not wanting to let go. I don't know.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I needed to let that out. If you read all of this, thank you.

 

I agree with you. She did not treat me right. I am just allowing myself to grieve the loss and move on at this point.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply.