Fapping, browsing and isolation

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, May 30, 2019.

  1. I have made it reluctantly to some kind of social gathering less than ten times in the last five years. I'm officially a student but get by doing nothing. My day is 2/3 scanning the Web for pointless information and p**n in my small room and 1/3 bad sleep. I've lost all motivation to change this vegetative state.

    My doctrine if it can be called that can be summarized by a quote from one American Western "We all die, just a question of when".

    Is there anyone who's going or went through something similar?
     
  2. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    I've been through worse and 12 years longer than you. I wasted my entire youth.

    I suggest reading: Nofap alone is not enough before it's as late for you.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. you wuldnt be in this situation if you were in the top 15% of men lookswise.
     
  4. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Few, sounds like you don't get out of the house much. I reckon you have some anxiety too, would you feel ok being in public for longer times by yourself?

    I use rituals:
    - I have my favourite coffee house where I go and stay there 3-4 hours while writing in a journal about my emotions. I carry no phone there, no laptop, just a journal.
    - I have my favourite spot on a riverside around where I live, I can only get there by car (others may not be so lucky), but it's a great view; I read a book for a few hours and then come back home; connection with nature is super important.
    - I cook simple food while listening to some simple philosophy lectures. This takes effort, because after you cook and eat... someone's got to do the dishes! But if you learn to cook simple dishes (no, not sandwiches!), you may be able to feel like you've achieved something good for your body and your mind
     
  5. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    wow thats a great habbit.
    ..luckt that riverside too, in my countty river are mainly polluted lol
     
  6. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    just like u i loos my youngger days tooo, due to gamming habbit and porn ofc

    U need to find a hobby/positive regular activity, for a starter,,, look for activity that didnt need other person...like joging in the morning, goin to gym, reading a book on the open area (park, cofee shop maybe)

    we all gona die of course...but if god ask you in hereafter what are you doin in your life? Would you answer fapping, working and browsing for porn?????
     
  7. Human v2.0

    Human v2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Watch a motivational video, then use that kick of motivation to get into something(a club for example). Motivation is constant when your life is good, motivation doesn't come from an inner feeling or anything, it comes from having a good life. A good life will lead you to happiness.
    You have basically forged yourself to be lonely, and you can change it.

    I'm an introvert, and it was really hard to start working in my current environment, but hey, I did it.
    You can do it bro! Believe in yourself.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. If there's no chance I'll ever date a ten I don't really have any reason to live. I'm not trying to be melodramatic and this is not a suicide note. But it's how I genuinely feel.

    I have never had a girlfriend and I have almost no friends in general. I don't own a car, I don't work, I don't have a degree, I don't have any fun experiences to share. I've spent the 6 post-highschool years depressed hiding from people and living off parents' money. I'm a 25 yo baby.

    One thing which makes me feel alive is a beautiful woman. Just the sight of a pretty girl strikes me with an overwhelming surge of excitement. Female beauty moves me powerfully while all else barely registers on my radar.

    Despite that I never even mustered the courage to go and talk to one. How am I supposed to do anything when the strongest passion I have in life doesn't suffice to even make me open my mouth or get out of bed in the morning?
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  9. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    I’ve slipped into this isolated life style and it’s hard to get out of. You’re not the only one. I was improving a bit but have slipped right back into it, spending days alone if I’m not at work. Sometimes my parents are the only people I interact with on my days off when I go to their house to help them.

    I’m at a loss what to do now. I am more n more intimidated by people, especially women.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You get out of life what you're willing to tolerate. Your current situation is comfortable and acceptable enough for you to not do anything about it. Trying to change your life is more uncomfortable, difficult, and uncertain than where you are right now. So you stay indifferent, apathetic, and tolerate it all.

    You're also waiting to feel motivated / inspired / excited / feel good in general before taking any action. It's an immature mindset. It's like saying I'll apply for work with a company only if they pay me first. Developing your reality and who you are as a person can be difficult, uncertain, unideal, and delayed gratification. You won't feel like doing it. Especially if you're comfortable and tolerating your current situation. So you use apathy / indifference / being a victim as an excuse to not put any effort towards changing your life.

    Continue waiting to feel good before taking action and you will be making a similar post about this 10 years later.
     
  11. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Perfectionism is a mindset that deals with "how things should be". I should be this or that by now. I should have this. Life should be like that. Always dissatisfied with the past and pessimistic about the future.

    Perfectionism leads to procrastination. Which is basically waiting for guarantees (which doesn't exist) before taking any action. What's the point in even trying if there's so much uncertainty and risk involved?

    Eventually perfectionism and procrastination leads to apathy and escapism. The problems are still there getting bigger and more difficult over time. You grow weaker to face those obstacles over time. So you become more of a perfectionist and procrastinator over time.

    So the energy you need to get out of that isolated dark place needs to be bigger over time the longer you procrastinate doing the things you know you should be doing to become the person you want to be and to have the life that you want.
     
  12. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    I'm in this situation despite being good looking and tall, as you keep saying are the requirements. I think you just say this as an easy way out. It's not your looks its your personality. Your constant posts about how your looks are stopping you bore me to the point of annoyance. And if you're annoying me from over the internet how do you expect to interest a woman IRL?
     
    properWood and wwtl like this.
  13. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    I feel you bro but there is a chance you'll find someone who you like.
     

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