Fallen Prophet

Hi all, new fapstranaut here. I'm in my early 40's and porn has been a problem for me for almost 20 years. I've tried numerous times to break the habit out of shame or out of a realization that it's not a healthy habit for me, but I always end up relapsing, so I have decided to reach out here for help and accountability.

The short version of my story is this: Even though I have regular sex partners, I keep coming back to porn as an outlet, probably for a release from anxiety or stress. I have three strikes against me that make it really easy for me to relapse regularly: I have ADHD, I work alone in a home office, and I am a computer nerd who can bypass any sort of filters or blocks in about 60 seconds. No excuses, just useful information for anybody who wants to understand my back story.

So, I am ready to do this. Today is day 1 clean. Current record is something like 57 days. I suppose my next step would be to come up with a reboot plan, but I'm not sure exactly how to go about doing that. Any advise or suggestions would be welcome.

 

Thank you! Today was a good day - I started off a little slow, with some leftover brain fog from the day before (Thurs was my last relapse). Focused on me and running my household today, did some home improvement projects, knocked out the chores, and never felt an urge today.

Current strategies include: the rubber band method, meditation, journaling, limiting my caffeine intake (ADHD/anxiety is a trigger), and exercise. They all help, but none is a surefire way to avoid relapsing, which is why I'm here - because I'm an addict. I checked out the In Case You Didn't Know thread and bookmarked it for reference. I am sure I will be needing it.

 

Thanks for the replies. I have a lot of reading and work to do, both here, and over at Recovery Academy. So far I have:

- Read through and bookmarked In Case You Don't Know
- Started a Recovery Log in the 40+ section
- Set my first goal as 90 days PM free, with P including anything that induces the time-wasting trance-like state.
- Have two emergency plans of action: the Panic Button, and a 3-minute guided meditation titled Emergency Porn Meditation

I'm working through figuring out my triggers. The acronym I've heard before that applies to me is BLAST: bored, lonely, angry, stresses, tired. I'm sure that is not an all-inclusive list by any means, but it does describe quite a few of my triggers. I will keep logging on that as I feel urges to see if I can identify more triggers.