Failed

I failed once again, granted it was only yesterday I decided to start the 1st of 90 day challenge and on the same night I relapsed. My brain has this thing where it convinces me to start fresh at the beginning of every month because it will make it easier to prepare mentally for it and also I wouldn't have to guess what day i'm on. Sounds stupid and conning I know but I always fall for it. I have been down this road many times where I mentally prepare myself to give this addiction up and I really have the conviction that I can overcome this however, the truth is after a few days I begin to feel like i need it which is stupid but this is something I have been doing since I was 12-13 (i'm 28 in June) and so I feel like I want to stop so I can better myself mentally and physically but at the same time its like a bond I have created that I can't break. The thing about me is I don't give up, I have never given up and I always jump back after I fall so I can tap myself in the back just for having that attribute. This change is and will remain difficult for a while but I believe with all my heart that I can win this battle from within and be free. God willing, I'll be there.

 

Thanks my friend. That is actually a good idea and it is one that i have not tried so it makes sense when I feel urges or on that high I can always get it out of my pocket and read it. Cheers for that

 

Lets not give up and hope for the best m8!