Ex broke with me but keeps bothering

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ghost79, Sep 27, 2017.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    My ex girlfriend wrote me yesterday because she said she was worried about me but that I also need to forget about her. She wants to stay friends with me. But I refused as I can't bear the thought of her being with another man.
    I also found new pictures of her on her facebook wearing a red dress, clearly to attract men. I fapped 4 times to it. I feel lost and broken without her.
     
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  2. Jesum9

    Jesum9 Guest

    Her wanting to remain friends is a warped way of keeping an eye on you. You're not going to get over her without breaking contact completely. She knows you're not doing well, as she said, and deep down that makes her feel good knowing she is of that much value to you. Do not masturbate to her bc you are now mentally and physically becoming more wrapped up in this. Cut off contact completely and work on yourself. They better you become, the better you'll feel. Your fear of her being with someone else is an insecurity. Become so awesome yourself that she comes running back and with that you may not even want her anymore. Put yourself first and tell her that you can't be friends right now. That will send her mind in a whirlwind and she will not be so confident in herself anymore. Like I said though. It's not about her. It's about YOU!
     
  3. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I did break with her and deleted everything about her. But then she wrote me again yesterday apologizing for her betrayal as she ended it with me a few months ago telling me that she didn't feel love for me and that she likes another man. I was shocked because I thought everything was fine between us. We did have a few arguments lately but there weren't a big deal to my accounts.
    She also said yesterday that she really wants to have a friend as me and that we could communicate as friends but nothing more or just forget her.
    It felt like a stab in my heart because I still love her. I told her there cannot be friendship if there is love and that it would be too painful for me to witness her having romantic relation with another man while I will keep an eye on her!
     
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  4. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    Dude, Youee getting nothing from this but heartache and more PMO addiction. She says she doesn't love you, broke up with you, was seeing another guy and is obviously looking for guys via FB.

    It's hard to get over but you have to. There are more, better women.

    And fuck that friend stuff. You don't need to be friends with someone who treated you like that. She just wants to assuage her own guilt. Do not give her the pleasure.

    Work on you. Work on defeating PMO. You'll end up meeting a smarter, hotter babe who adores and respects you. Then you can run into her and be like "wow. Great to see you. This is Monique, my gf. She speaks seven languages is an astrophysicist and a Maxim model. You still working at Hooters?"
     
  5. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    You clearly see things better then me in this situation. I will delete her phone number too and not reply to her anymore. But it hurts me soo much because I still having feelings for her.
     
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  6. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    And you will. For weeks, months, maybe even years. But until you completely break it off you will not get over her and that is the inescapable truth.just be polite and say "I respect your choice but we can't be friends. I wish you no ill will. Goodbye." Deleting her is a good thing.
     
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  7. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Yet but somehow I still have a hope that she may return to me as she really wants to remain friends with me. This means I still have some value for her.
     
  8. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    Stop trying to validate yourself based on her expectations/desires. She told you she didn't love you and she likes someone else. Why would you want to stay with someone that feels that way? You staying friends means you have only partial value to her--not the full value of a bf. Surely you don't want to be partially valued, right?

    I know it's tough--been there. But you gotta move on. Trying to be with someone who only half cares for you is not a relationship.
     
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  9. Casper0n

    Casper0n Fapstronaut

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    The guys in this thread have spoken truth, my friend. She's bad news. She either wants to keep tabs on you, or is using the friend thing as a weird way to ease her conscience about her mistreatment of you.

    This is like an old band-aid. You have to rip it off completely in one quick swoop. It'll be painful for a minute, but you're better off in the long run. Cut her out. Completely.
     
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  10. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    Don't go down that road, I have been there and all you will get is more pain where you have feelings for her.

    I had a similar situation and until I completely broke contact I couldn't move on. It was very hard but it was the right decision.
     
  11. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    You're feeding into the hurt by maintaining contact with her. Time heals all....you gotta quit her cold turkey and you'll start to move on.
     
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I did that until she wrote me again a few days ago! And I'm wondering why would she contact me if she says she really likes her new man friend?!

    Im starting to feel anger now as I see how much disrespect she showed me.
     
  13. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    Block her, don't let her back in. Filter her email to automatically get deleted or rejected and block her phone number so she can't call or text.
     
  14. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Which translates to, if things don't work out with her new man you'll always be there as her backup.

    I agree with @[email protected]
     
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  15. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I can't because her phone number will be visible and every few days she changing her WhatsApp profile picture and I'm very curious to see it every time. So long as I don't know her number from memory I rather just have her number completely deleted as I did already. I also deleted my FB profile so i can't see her there either.
     
  16. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] NoFap Moderator
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    You CAN resist, your curiosity on her profile picture is just an excuse. Your recovery will go faster once you start to realize where your justifications and excuses are. I'm not blaming you for anything, we've all gone through this but the truth is, telling yourself you CAN'T is just lying to yourself.
     
  17. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    It's not an excuse, I really can't resist seeing her pictures. In my eyes she is still the most beautiful woman in the world.
     
  18. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    This is what I keep saying...you CAN resist, you just choose not to.
     
  19. Vlad_the_LionHeart

    Vlad_the_LionHeart Fapstronaut

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    Hawx, after 6 months since break up I feel something similar like you to your ex. Nevertheless, as everybody is advising to you, it is needed to delete all chat-history with her, and WhatsApp and Messenger. Thanks to this all her naughty pictures will dispappear.

    By the fact you fapped, you did not only betrayed this community, but mainly yourself. Realise it.
     
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  20. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I'll start being clean tomorrow. I used to fap only to porn and now having fapped to my ex will be my final closure.
     

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