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Does anybody get symptoms of frustration?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by sonic, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. sonic

    sonic Fapstronaut

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    I am doing my best to not masturbate. I know I have a problem, but abstaining from MO leaves me frustrated and overall more irritated in life. Everyone else has the wonderful symptoms of rebirth in their energy and stuff. Does anybody have my problem? And maybe I'll get to the good symptoms later on I guess. Just wanted to ask and get some encouragement.

    I'm a Christian and believe in abstaining from sex until marriage. I was thinking today that if I could stop fapping then the next time I would ejaculate would be when I'm married... and I don't have many prospects. That is just depressing. Anybody else Christian feeling this way either? Sometimes I wish I could just let myself hook up with a girl. But even if I would let myself, I don't know if they would go for me.I'm not very good at spitting game.
     
  2. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Of course, frustration is part of life but some people have what some psychologists refer to as a low frustration tolerance and I know I'm one of those people so we just have to find ways of dealing with it so we can achieve balance etc. Its a bit like our internal 'weather', sometimes its sunny, other times its rainy or whatever (and I don't know what I've been eating today but I'm particularly 'windy' today! ;))
    The trick might just be not to resist how you feel and it will usually pass? Have a look at this mate and see if it helps...http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2655-The-Way-of-Harmony:)
     
  3. BullseyeChris

    BullseyeChris Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, sonic, sometimes I can feel more frustrated/irritable, too. I think that can be due to a combo of the build up of testosterone (and at day 8, you are at that peak of the T-cycle, according to studies), but also the fact that your body/mind is frustrated bec you are denying yourself indulging in something it has grown accustomed to, and even dependent upon on some level. Like if a guy drinks caffeinated drinks a lot and then quits cold turkey, he's gonna get irritable, too! But if he sticks with it, his body will return to normal again. Your body is probably addicted to the dopamine rush and high of PMO, so you just need to give it time to stabilize more. Though you will always have some sort of up and down, whether it's the negative "side effects" of feeling frustrated/antsy, or the positive ones of more energy, self-confidence, drive, etc., bec we are dealing with hormonal spikes as part of it, and that goes in cycles anyway. And there will be periods of time when you don't feel anything at all, good or bad. But these cycles happen, too, when we PMO or have sex a lot, we just don't notice it as much bec we are manipulating those cycles more ourselves through our sexual activity. And usually we will just fap again as soon as we feel the urge or feel down or whatever. Instead, you are choosing to fight through the pain as it were and so now you are feeling things that were probably there before, but which you escaped before though PMO. It's a good/manly thing to face yourself, your issues, your frustrations, your fears, and your hopes. When we keep retreating away from our emotions, we stay emotionally stunted. We can do this through porn, mb, video games, tv/movies, internet, all kinds of things. Not all bad, sometimes we just need to veg out, but we need to become more aware of whether we are resting and taking a needed break, or if we are just running from boredom or anger or fear or insecurity or sadness or whatever else we don't like that may be there. But on a purely physical level, I agree with anon that exercising regularly helps a lot, both with the build up of the physical energy and the build up of the stress of changing habits and the build up of testosterone.

    But as far as never having an O again until you get married. You already know that premarital sex isn't what you want. A one night stand won't help your issue, it will just make you feel terrible and lonelier than ever if the relationship doesn't last. And you will just be horny again the next day anyway. But I don't need to go on about that bec I know you already know all of that and that that's not what you want. But I also understand your fear of being celibate for now. But here's the deal. Even if you successfully manage to never fap again, and only have sex when you are married, that doesn't mean that you have become asexual. You have already probably experienced a higher degree of horniness, and are probably more sensitive in your man bits. If not, you were probably more sexually exhausted from frequent PMO than you realized. But if and when you do feel horny like that, just enjoy it! There is nothing wrong or sinful about feeling horny or enjoying the natural good feelings that your body will give you when you feel that way. That's not the same as M or PMO. And as far as never having an orgasm is concerned--I doubt that will be the case, and here's why: they are called wet dreams! ha If you manage to not MB for a long time, if you are like the majority of men, you will eventually get wet dreams once in a while. Maybe you've never had one, but they include a full-out O, better than an awake one usually, an ejaculation, everything. Plus, a realistic dream to go along with it! And you usually feel energized afterwards, and not "let down" like after M, and there is no guilt involved. And if you manage to keep on abstaining, your frequency of getting them should increase some over time. Sure, they can be inconvenient sometimes, and yes, they are messy, but so is sex, so get over it, ha. Not fapping doesn't mean denying your sexuality, it means experiencing it in a new way!
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2014

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