So starting off , I started watching porn when I was very young , I couldnt even ejaculate and I was watching it .. So as you would assume back then it was enough to see a girl in a bikini and it would drive me crazy , also all of my crushes were female , however im very socially wierd so i never had a relationship altough i did make out with many girls and did some stuff (sex excluded, never had that), I mean ive met girls I went out with and was really hyped about it but I would usually ruin my first date. So back to porn , as it goes I started watching wierder and wierder things , with that even gay porn , however I was never in real life attracted to men , never even looked at them and I still dont , but with all the failures with women I tought maybe I could be gay so i tried some gay hookup sites and always ended up wondering what the fuck am I doing I dont really want this , so I would never actually do anything or meet with anyone. However i still have that sexual insecurity that was induced by creating "fetishes" from watching too much porn and it is bugging me since I've recently went out with this amazing girl but my mind is still sceptical and flegmatic about it even tho date went great, since I never got this far due to all the past failures and now i have that whole could I be gay thing? Also I didnt give it much tought when I first started watching that porn since then I knew it was just a "fetish" since it was wierd to me and extreme which is "high" I was looking for but now im getting worried and I want to delete these toughts , no offense to anyone who is that sexual orientation but I just feel its not me and porn made me have this wierd feelings , I also tend to highly overthink alot of stuff. Ive quit porn and masturbation almoust a week ago and i plan to keep it that way so my mind might clear up. If anyone had will to read through all of that I would really like some input , also the "Bi" stuff is not really something I believe I could do since I cant imagine dating a man. My toughts maybe porn made me forget what I really loved about women since they show this fake version of them in this unrealistic light and scenario. Toughts?
Yes, heavy porn consumption can manifest in ways that emboldens you to watch what you otherwise would not have if you weren't an addict. To fuel that feedback loop and continuous stimulation, it's possible for you to develop a sexual 'interest' in really.. anything porn related. Judging by what you typed, I don't necessarily think you're attracted to the same sex, and watching a little bit of gay porn isn't an explicit indictator that you aren't straight. I myself have done this sporadically over the years, albeit I watched straight porn 98% of the time. I can wholeheartedly say I am not attracted to dudes.. so make of that what you will.
Yeah thanks for the reply , I also watched mostly straight porn , but it still somehow bugs me , that "what if". However I really might be drastically overthinking this
You are overthinking it. My suggestion is that you focus on cutting out PMO altogether and then see what happens in the future. My guess is that you won't be thinking of or even fantasising about some of these things afterwards. If you decide to 'experiment' with someone in the distant future, then you would certainly be assured of your sexuality. It does seem as though you are completely straight however, but if you aren't that isn't bad either. *typos corrected
