Did you have a healthy relationship with your father?

I suspect that most of us had either absent or abusive fathers.

 

My dads great I just visited with him earlier

 

Not really. I'm close with my mom and my aunt, but not my dad.

 

It's tough to determine the relationship I had. He was most concerned about religion. As a kid, he'd ask me to do something, but I didn't always do it right away, so he'd do it. I didn't feel involved in his work. I remember him coming to my room to talk to me, but I would always shut down. I never felt emotionally close to him. I didn't feel that he really cared about me - it must be that way, idk. I don't know why I shut down, and I think whenever he talked to me, it was only about religion or something else, idk really, it was always a lecture type, nothing positive. I suspect that as a kid, I didn't feel seen. Occasionally he'd organize a trip or something, but it wasn't often. Idk. Somehow the connection didn't form. Our community isn't really about personal growth, more about religion, so that had something big to play in it. I also think his dad probably didn't connect with him well.

 

I chose the first option because I know my dad cared and valued me, he just had a lot of trauma due to his upbringing, war, etc. He died some 12 years ago, and I miss him every day.