Did NoFap cure your depression?

@mentorr let me ask you another question.

If becoming addicted was the result of unresolved trauma or some other form of mental anguish, then why did I(and many others I suspect) only end up becoming addicted to porn? I mean why not drugs? Or alcohol? Or cigarettes? They'd have all done the same job, yet I've never once felt inclined to turn to any of those things.

It's funny(and sad) because my Mum often says how proud she is that I never ruined my body with those "poisons", little does she know that I've been wrecking my brain with one that either no one knows about or wants to acknowledge as being real. I often think that I'd probably be better off now if I'd been downing vodkas with my cornflakes all these years or going through two packs of Marlboro a day instead.

Even now I have a 55 day streak but that's only really because I have no libido. I have a truck load of problems, yet do I feel much of a need to run away from them? Not really.

I also can't help but feel a lot of those who push the idea of guys falling into porn due to trauma are female therapists. Women who no matter how many books they read will never understand what the male libido feels like, in the same way that I'll never know what it feels like to be on a period or give birth.

 

But I think this is the point - the average person would say "I have had my release, let me now go about my day." It becomes an addiction because you inherently believe you are lacking something. Aka the addictive substance reels you in only if you do not have the necessary tools to stop it. Those tools should be picked up in our childhood.

From my point of view, I am certainly not discrediting the sharpness of the hooks that are the porn industry. I agree, there are likely many other young boys who get a massive thrill from porn but you have to ask the correct questions: why do they need the thrill? Why did you pick up porn and struggle to put it down? For me it was a safe way to get sexually fulfilled without having to put myself out there. Knowing that alone allows me to start my journey of not falling back into the trap.

Just to be clear, one of the reasons I have taken this stance is that after 3 years of a reboot, I am yet to return to my normal physical, emotional and mental self.

A study in 2002 found that men with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) had a higher risk of developing ED than men without PTSD. In another study, the rate of sexual dysfunction was as high as 85% in a group of 44 men that had suffered from trauma. So again it might be your situation is different/unique but I would still question why you have been unable to quit PMO if you picked it up somewhat organically or outside of trauma? If you did pick it up for the thrill of the rush, I would then ask why are you addicted to the rush of PMO? Addictive substances fill a void that we are unconsciously unaware of - hence why we call it 'an itch we can't scratch'. We can't scratch it because we cannot reach it ourselves.

 

I'm sorry to hear that and I genuinely hope you recover soon(and I believe you can) but as difficult as it is, I don't think it's right to project your own journey and experiences on to others. Sometimes I feel inclined to tell others what they should and shouldn't be doing but then I remember we're not all starting from the same position here and just because something affects me in a certain way, doesn't mean it will for someone else.

I'm not sure what the study is supposed to be telling me?

PTSD is the result of brain chemistry that has been altered due to a traumatic event, PMO can also have the same effect. Both can lead to ED. Therefore: PMO = trauma?

It's true that I use PMO to fill various voids, the difference here though is that I believe PMO created those voids in the first place. Whether removing PMO will make those voids harder or easier to deal with though remains to be seen. All I know is that on PMO I don't have the desire or energy to do anything about them. Tbh the main reason I keep relapsing is that I think I'm too far gone and have blown my chance at life anyway. The only thing that keeps me away from diving back in however is some of the physical effects I now experience from it - which in a strange way could be seen as a blessing.

 

The statement about my 3 years of recovery was a point of reference, an origin for why I believe what I do about recovery. It wasn't instruction from me on what to do.

The study tells us that PTSD occurs before sexual dysfunction in all that experience it. None of the candidates experienced trauma after sexual dysfunction.

But all in all we can agree to disagree, life is about different perspectives right? Wishing you all the best in your recovery and I hope you are able to get back on the route to recovery.

All the best

 

It really sounds like you have been through it for quite a long time. I take my hat off to you just for being so self aware about all that has happened.

All I can say is keep going and I will see you at the finish line. There are a lot of good books that outline stories from other people that went through similar situations to you, and how they were able to recover and leave the negative feelings behind. Get in touch if you ever want to read such books. Also keep in touch. It would be good to hear about how you're doing recovery wise.

 

Feel free to ignore but I'm just going to explore this further for my own amusement.

So the study says that the PTSD preceded the ED. What else do we know that also precedes ED? Oh yeah, PMO. In which case, can you not then say that PMO is in fact the trauma and the ED is the subsequent result of that trauma? When you think of trauma, you think of a negative or a shocking event but something excessively pleasurable can also be traumatic. Don't you think that years of pumping your brain with such stimulating material is also capable of having a traumatic effect on you?

It's interesting that you said further up that PMO can eventually cause a person's central-nervous-system to give up, I mean that's a pretty damn severe effect for this addiction to have, yet strangely you draw the line at depression or trauma. How about other mental ailments like Anxiety? Anhedonia? Attention deficit disorders? Brain fog? All pretty common symptoms cited by heavy porn users. Or am I to believe that they all just had them to begin with and taking away the mask of PMO just brought them to the surface?

As I said before, I'm open-minded on all things with regards to this topic. I'm also open to the sad possibility that some of us will actually have done irreversible damage to ourselves, I hope that isn't the case but I wouldn't totally rule it out either. I think Gary Wilson may have alluded to it at one point as well before he passed.

 

Nope. Not at all. Its like saying a hangover from a night on the town is 'traumatic'. I think the word traumatic might be used to describe the symptoms that follow too much PMO, but the reference doesn't support the actual meaning of the word traumatic. Remember trauma is something that happens to you not for you.

Below is a list of 82 recorded symptoms caused by PTSD aka trauma. Note that all of these symptoms occurred after trauma had already taken place.
(If you're interested in the references let me know.)

Physical Symptoms

1. Muscle tension/neck and back problems
2. Dizziness
3. Changes in appetite (too much too little)
4. Weight loss or gain
5. Chronic fatigue
6. Hormonal Imbalances
7. Sexual Dysfunction
8. Changes in sex drive/loss in libido
9. Allergies/Autoimmune diseases
10. Constipation, Diarrhea, Ulcers
11. Sleep problems (Insomnia)
12. Restlessness
13. Sleep apnea
14. Nightmares
15. Physical Numbness
16. Headaches/Migraines
17. Nausea

Mental Symptoms

18. Memory problems
19. Forgetfulness/amnesia
20. Impaired decision making
21. Difficult focusing/attention problems
22. Intrusive thoughts
23. Decreased concentration/easily distracted
24. Suicidal thoughts
25. Disorientation
26. Brain fog

Emotional Symptoms

27. Mood Swings
28. Depression
29. Emotional numbness
30. Feelings of stress
31. Exaggerated emotional responses
32. Rage attacks, temper tantrums and anger
33. Heightened emotional reactivity
34. Irritability
35. Panic attacks, anxiety or phobias
36. Sadness/grief
37. Avoidance (avoiding situations that bring up emotions)
38. Sadness grief
39. Feelings of impending doom
40. Withdrawal, isolation, feelings of alienation (no one understands)
41. Despair, overwhelm, frequent crying
42. Feelings of helplessness
43. Overcautiousness
44. Shame or feelings of inadequacy
45. Fear of being alone
46. Fear of being with others or leaving home

Spiritual Symptoms

47. Loss of belief/meaning
48. Sense of meaningless
49. Extremist/radial beliefs
50. Dogmatic or rigid beliefs
51. Existential crisis
52. Feelings of hopelessness
53. Crippling doubt
54. Survivor guilt
55. Loss of identity

Behavioural Symptoms

56. Inability to love, support, nurture or bond with people, especially loved ones
57. Bonding with others through trauma
58. Lack of boundaries in relationships/excessive clinging or people-pleasing behaviour
59. Disrupted relationships
60. Avoidance behaviour (certain people, places or things)
61. Attraction to dangerous or high-risk situations
62. Extreme sports and/or excessive exercise
63. Starting many projects and not completing them, or difficult starting projects
64. Extreme procrastination
65. Temper tantrums/uncontrolled temper
66. Adrenaline-seeking behaviour
67. Alcohol or substance abuse
68. Excessive use of nicotine and/or caffeine
69. Other addictions (work, shopping, gambling)
70. Disordered eating (anorexia/undereating, binging)
71. Being accident-prone or bumping into things
72. "Acting out"
73. Alcohol or substance abuse
74. Excessive use of nicotine and/or caffeine
75. Other addictions (work, shopping, gambling)
76. Disordered eating (e.g. anorexia/undereating, binging, purging)
77. Being accident prone
78. Lack of sexual interest
79. Infidelity/affairs/sexual promiscuity
80. Self destructive behaviors
81. Deliberate self-harm/suicidal behavior
82. Masturbation

 

Ok guys, do you guys also face brain fog, when reading a book, a kind of dryness of throat, this maybe because of not drinking enough water, but I m constantly facing this feeling sometimes more intense sometimes less intense.
There is a huge improvement I have planned out for myself that works for me and u can try, when I become stressed about why am I not being at my peak point, I should have already finished this and that work, even though I can do that work now, at this point what I usually do is I do my best to release serotonin by taking slow breath and saying out loud positive things about the progress that I have made and will make in future, thinking the positive side of this pullback in life, I say to myself nothing to worry about there is this forum( nofap) where people are who understand what is going on.
On this journey, I understand about whats happening to me, why it happened and what can I do better, but when this kind of depressive episode comes up, i forget these understandings, thats why I had to develop a reliable way to counter that feeling and this works good..
As for brain fog, help this lonewolf guy out..

 

At the start of my reboot reading a book was an absolute myth. I would have to read the first few words multiple times and even then I wouldn't be able to remember what I read. It took some time before I could pick up a book and really understand what I was be reading. Even now, I still have to re-read sentences once in a while. However as time goes by you will begin to see improvements. Brainfog will be something that you somewhat forget you suffered from.

 

Speaking from my own experience. Until the age of 10 I did not have much problems at home. Around 11-12 I faced some turbulent stuff at home, where my mother's partner(not my biological father) decided to leave. Until an end came to that ordeal, I had to see some shit drama which no healthy upbringing would do so.
After that came to an end. Jus around the same time, i came across porn. And innthe absence of a male figure at home..it was even more easy to stash porn.
Though I was not hooked to it like an addict until 18 when i got my laptop and wifi.
From 12-18, I used it for fun jus like a healthy teenager but sometimes to numb the way things were in my life, most of which was because of or financial woes. But i could reflect now and see that, it slowly became an outlet to cope. Even for someone who used DVDs until 12-18....my usage was bit higher than my peers for two reasons.
There was an absence of male caregiver and being brought up by a single parent gave more alone time.
But there is also a factor of hereditary genetic trait. My biological father was addicted to alcohol. Its possible that the addiction gene was passed on. The same gene could be triggered to get addicted to any substance.

And coming to your question....of why not? Drugs, alcohol or tobacco.
Jus like you, i was never hooked to those. And I've never tried tobbaco or drugs ever in my life and I'm even aversed by those things.
Reason being, my mother did a good job of instilling the thought in me as to what could these things do to our health and well being.
Being with an alcoholic husband, all that she wanted to was to impart the harms of it to her offspring. And she absolutely did a great job despite being uneducated. Sadly, she never knew the harms of porn though she was against it. And also being from a third world country, speaking of porn and sex stuff to a male child is an uncomfortable situation. So she never had the opportunity to even give a hint about it.

And i was already booked to it. And I've seen the same pattern in a friend of mine. He never used any of those substance but when something happened in his life he turned to porn as coping mechanism. Because he was brought up in the same way as me due to similar culture background and ignorance of damage caused by porn.

And as i reached 18 I got my laptop and wifi. And at the same time....my most traumatic event was about to take place for the next two years. 18-20...i was going through hell. I was harrased and tormented in my university by a professor which really pushed me to the depths of porn as a means to cope. And thus it really became an addiction and my pied, pe, loss of libido, broken refractory period all kicked in at 21-22.

There is one other reason which also caused me to turn to porn though it would be like a third or fourth cause. But definitely played a bigger role. Though many wouldn't agree on it without being judgemental.

So I cannot for sure say if trauma preceded the addiction or the addiction preceded trauma. Its like chicken and egg comparison. I believe they are symbiotic in origin and nature.

And your quote about downing vodka with cereal. I would have this problem than any other addiction and their repercussions.
This is indeed a horrible addiction and the recovery is hell. But the amount of damage external substance does to your body is exponential when compared to this addiction. Most of the damage done during this addiction is reversible because of neuroplasticity and that's why most regain healthy erections and recover from other sexual ailments eventhough it takes days,weeks, months or years. But substance abuse definitely damages organs and causes epigenetic irreversible damages. It is possible in this as well but in comparison to an external man made artificial substance, this would have caused lesser damage.

I have used it for nearly two decades and abused it for 1 decade. So I don't intend to be normal within 90 days or 1 year. I am exactly 2 years in no pmo!!!

I am jus going to continue doing what I have been doing these two years, learn and do the things that I should have all these years and progress while I heal. And someday in the future i might get back my erections, libido, refractory period and other sexual prowess of a healthy man. If not, I'd jus be content with other things that gives me happiness. Like the instruments i play and create music with. Or read books that gives me new insights and knowledge. Or movies that i am truly passionate about. Doing sports activities that gives me joy.