So theres this girl who was in my life. We've known each other for years, and we used to date. However, one day I found out she was cheating on me, and we split up. Some time later she contacted me again, and after that we developed a sort of no strings attached relationship, where we had casual sex now and then. Before I began this new nofap journey, where I pledged to be PMO free for a year, she contacted me again. After the year began, I made a choice, and I cut away all contact with her. Don't get me wrong, I dont think theres anything wrong with having sex, I don't disregard the possibility that this year I might meet a special someone, who after dating for some time we might take things to the next level. However, this girl from my past, shes just part of everything that I hated about myself. How I would sleep with a person who enjoys being with more than one person at the same time, risking STD's or unwanted pregnancies, I said to myself, I want to be a better person, and only have sex with a significant other, not to just get laid, but to have a real connection in life, and find love. Question is, you guys think I did the right thing? Maybe my head is a bit messed up right now and cant think straight lol
I think you did the right thing. If it feels wrong you shouldn't do it. I've never really understood the concept of casual sex because sex connects you to the other person forever pretty much. My mom would always tell me that when you sleep with a girl, you're also sleeping with all the men she's slept with in the past. That's what your comment about the risking STDs reminded me of anyway. Of course, I may not even be qualified to talk about how sex connects you with another person considering I'm still a virgin. It's just wisdom that was passed down to me by people like my mom. Plus, if all she wants from you is casual sex and nothing more, and you desire sex as a means of connecting you with a significant other, then you shouldn't keep engaging in relations with that girl in my honest opinion. I treat sex as a sacred object. Mostly because of what my mom has told me. She has lots of wisdom, and I think it'd be foolish to think that she doesn't know what she's talking about considering all the advice she's given me in life has proven to be correct even when I didn't want it to be. I was taught about the connection that sex brings between two people, and I don't want to connect myself to another woman like that until I know for sure she's the one for me. So, for now at least, barring any mistakes I make later in life, I plan to wait until marriage before giving up my virginity. I hope this post helps. Again, I'm just sharing with you the wisdom I've received from people who've actually had experience, unlike myself.
You done good. This relationship was about sex—carnal, lust-gratifying sex. No real emotional investment. You’re moving past that now.
