Developing a porn addiction before I was sexually mature and overcoming it 20 years later

Hello Fapstrounatus!

I'll use some of the text from the about page of my website to introduce myself.

My name is Apostol, I'm 29 and I had been using different forms of pornography since I was in 4th grade - around 9 or 10 years old.

Back then porn was not so easily accessible. I could find it either in a hidden stash of newspapers and magazines or I had to get up in the middle of the night to watch the midnight porn programs of TV channels. It was something hidden, forbidden and exciting. A new way to explore my body and the great sensations that it gave me.

Since then porn has come a long way. With the rise of internet - it's never been more easy to find, watch and "use" porn. You can easily find it on the web, on your smartphone or even in the internet ads. People are accepting it as something normal. Something that everybody does. But porn has its dark side.

You see - pornogrpahy is not a problem in of itself. The problem becomes when you get addicted to it. When you focus most of your sexual energy on it. Then you start living inside of the artificial virtual world of what is shown on the screen. It drains your energy and willpower. It makes you stay deep inside of your comfort zone. It deprives you of your sex-drive. If you're single - it takes away your desire to date and meet real women. Even if you have a girlfriend/wife it makes you have less sex with her and the sex becomes more and more mundane and physical. In the end - the intimacy and ultimately your relationship suffers greatly. And then you decide to stop the habit and you can't. Then you discover that you can't control this addiction and that makes you feel weak and powerless - unable to control even your own body.

I struggled with all these things myself. Even though I'm a software developer and founder of a small company. Even though I have a gorgeous, beautiful wife that I deeply love. I still had this addiction that was draining my life and my emotions and limiting my abilities. Ultimately it was preventing me from living life even more fully.

So I got myself together and decided to overcome it. I researched and used a lot of different techniques to deconstruct the addiction to its parts. I found the work of dr. Gabor Mate which argues that in the roots of every addiction there is one or more early childhood traumatic events. That the addiction is actually caused by these traumatic events. So I managed to find mine and release them. While doing that I found that the process of understanding and releasing the traumatic event made the urge to watch porn feel less and less powerful until it ceased to exist. Now the trigger that I had - me being alone - has no effect on me - I feel no urge to open the browser and watch porn anymore.

Then i found this community and others like it. I thought that if I could do it - other people can do it too and that's why I created a website http://slavetohero.com/. I started sharing my experience in there and wrote my first article about the confines of our Comfort Zone Trap.

I hope that I'll be able to help more people overcome porn addiction and live the life that they dreamed of living.